She shook her head. “I talked him outof it. I’m not a target like you are. It was just wrong place, wrong time.”
“Yeah, but Kat, you’re my roommate.Someone might think I’m still there,” I interjected worriedly.
She waved me off. “I may not be underhouse arrest but that doesn’t mean Sal isn’t keeping a close eye. I’ll befine.”
I let the topic go for the moment but Iwas hardly pacified.
We drank martinis and gabbed until Salcame by to pick Kat up. I resisted asking him if he’d seen Cole, not wanting toseem like a clichéd housewife. But when he wasn’t home by 10pmthat night, I called him. It wentstraight to voicemail. My brow wrinkled wondering where he was. He hadn’t madeit seem like he’d be gone that long. I still didn’t have anything with me, so Iborrowed one of his T-shirts and a toothbrush, and then crawled into a veryempty feeling bed.
When I rolled over at 2amand found that his side of the bedwas still cold, I got really worried. I called his cell again and when I stillgot no answer, I called Kat. Obviously I woke her up, but she put Sal on thephone after I explained about Cole.
“He’s working through some shit. He’sfine,” Sal told me, making my blood run cold.
“Working through some shit?” I asked,my tone arctic. What the hell did that mean?
“He’s safe, he’s at the club,” he toldme, his tone softer.
“Okay well that’s where I’m goingthen,” I huffed, hauling myself out of bed.
“You aren’t,” Sal argued.
“I am,” I retorted. “Hank’s out front.I’m sure he’ll take me,” I added. The poor guy was probably bored to tearsanyway.
“Fuck,” he clipped. “I’ll be there in tenminutes.” I didn’t take it as a great sign that Sal was insisting on taking meif I was going, but I pushed that worry to the back of my mind and got dressed.
“This is a bad idea,” he informed meonce he dragged his ass out of bed to come get me in his pickup truck.
“Oh well,” I said as I shrugged,feigning indifference as I looked out the window. The truth was that I wasscared out of my ever loving mind at what I would find at the club. But I hadto know what kind of shit he was working through. If he couldn’t work thingsthrough with me then we had a serious problem. And God help me, and him, if hewas working through anything with someone else.
I spotted him immediately when wewalked in. His back was to us, body hunched over the bar as he sipped whatlooked like whiskey. I was pacified to see he was alone. And even more so whenI saw him immediately brush off a woman who walked over to him and tried to puta hand flirtatiously on his shoulder. Clearly this wasn’t about anything otherthan being in his own head, deeply in his own head. There were a few other guysshooting pool but it was really late, or early, and the place was pretty quiet.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I askedquietly, pulling up the stool beside him.
His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Whatare you doing here?” his eyes were bloodshot but his speech wasn’t slurred.
“Couldn’t sleep without you,” I said,pulling the bottle over and taking a swig. He turned back and stared into hisdrink. “Find what you’re looking for in there?” I asked softly.
I’d never seen him like this. Hewasn’t angry or his typical alpha self. He was contemplative and almost…sad.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he saidquietly and his words sent a stab of pain through my heart.
“Why?” I spoke past the lump in mythroat.
He didn’t answer. He sat quietly and swirledthe liquid in his glass.
“You’re always asking me to let youin,” I said quietly. “You need to do the same for me. I want to be here foryou,” I added, putting my hand over his.
“I can’t do this right now,” he said,his tone turning firm and almost cold.
I pulled my hand back. “Do what?” Idemanded, hurt searing through me like a flame. “Do what, Cole?” I demandedagain when he didn’t answer me.
“I can’t fucking look at you right nowalright?” he clipped loudly.
I was so shocked by what he said thatit took a moment for it to register. But as the words rushed over me, my faceflamed in humiliation and hurt. A few of the guys had turned to look insurprise at our exchange and my cheeks flamed brighter still.
I opened myself up to him thatmorning, allowed him to see parts of me I’d buried deep and held protected. Andthis is how he repaid me, by making me feel complete and utter shame.
I kept staring at him in complete shockand pain for a few seconds before I stood up on shaking legs and put my purseon my shoulder. He didn’t spare me a glance as I walked away. My throat wasclose to bursting with the size of the lump lodged there. I walked woodenlypast Sal who stood with his arms crossed, eyes narrowed on Cole.
