“Baby, should we go have you checkedout?” he asked, his eyes bright with concern.
I felt completely rung out and notquite lucid. “Cole,” I began, my voice somewhat hoarse. “Honey, I’m pregnant,”I told him.
I didn’t register his reaction or hisexpression. All I knew was that he lifted me and carried me to his truck. Ididn’t ask questions as he deposited me gently in the passenger seat. I justlet him take charge as we drove through the night.
He carried me in through the emergencyroom exit and the next thing I knew I was hooked up to every machineimaginable. Cole sat vigilant at my side with his large hand over mine.
When the baby’s heartbeat echoed loudand overwhelming in its vitality throughout the room, my breath caught. It wasthe most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. Cole’s hand clenched in mine and Ilooked over to see raw emotion painted on his beautiful face.
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” Ichoked out. “It was my fault, the medication the hospital gave me interferedwith my pills,” I babbled.
“Shhh,darlin’, let me hear our baby,” he whispered, his earturned to the sound.
We sat and listened to the rhythmicsound for a few moments before the nurse pulled the receptors off my belly. “Everythingsounds great,” she said as she smiled reassuringly. “Baby looks great.”
“Good,” I sighed, relieved.
“She fainted though,” Coleinterjected. He was clearly worried and not just about me.
“The doctor on staff can speak to youabout that, but the baby sounds fine,” she assured us. “I’ll just get this outof your way and Dr. Epstein will be in shortly.”
I watched her from my place on theexam table as she wheeled the ultrasound equipment out of the room. It feltdeathly quiet once she was gone.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Cole askedquietly.
I cringed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t knowhow and I was afraid that you’d feel trapped or something…” I trailed off.
“How long have you known?”
“About a week,” I admitted while lookingup at the ceiling. We were in one of the urgent care rooms, with a curtainseparating the beds. Luckily no one occupied the next bed, but the room felthuge and off-putting, especially given all that had happened that night.
“I just feel so overwhelmed,” Iadmitted, my voice choked as my eyes flooded. “My life has completely turnedupside down in the past three months,” I said, the tears breaking free andsliding down my face. “Before you I had everything so controlled. I had a graspon every feeling, every step I made. Then I met you and my world just explodedwith emotion and people andlife,” Ibreathed. “And I don’t know how to trust the happiness and safety that I feelwith you, I’ve never had anything like it. Anything close has been rippedaway,” I said hoarsely. I felt Cole’s hand clench in mine and felt theconfidence to continue. “I almost expected something to happen like this, itwas too good to be true that I could just move on without retribution,” Ilamented. “But tonight was something different,” I whispered. “I have this lifeI’m responsible for,” I said reverently, my hand grazing my belly. “I’ve neverfelt such a ferocity in my life,” I told him. “It was like I would stop atnothing to protect this baby. And I know it’s so soon and I know we didn’tdiscuss it, but I want this, Cole,” I told him, turning with tear filled eyesto face him. “But the last thing I want is for you to feel trapped. I only wantyou to be with me, be with us, if it’s what you really want, too,” I whispered.
He stared down at me with anunfathomable expression. “Baby, where else would I ever want to be? It is fast,everything about us has been. It’s only fitting that you’d get knocked upquickly, too,” he said as he chuckled.
“Right,” I muttered, not amused as thedoctor strode into the room reviewing my chart.
“Well I see congratulations are inorder,” he said with a kind smile, wheeling over on a small stool to mybedside. “What brings you here to us this evening?”
“She fainted,” Cole answered for me.It didn’t need to be said that we’d be leaving the other details of the eveningout.
“Oh?” the doctor cocked his head tothe side. “Well that can certainly happen during pregnancy, blood flow gets tothe brain a bit slower. You need to be careful when you stand up suddenly.Another cause can be anxiety or high stress. I see here that your bloodpressure is slightly elevated, have you been under undue stress?” he asked. Hisquestion was almost comical, but Cole’s expression confirmed that he found thesituation anything but funny.
“A bit,” I allowed vaguely.
“Well my advice would be to dowhatever you can to remove or reduce that stress for the health of you and yourbaby,” he advised.
“Okay,” I answered, though I didn’treally see how I had any control over Jake and his insanity.
“Any other questions?”
I looked at Cole who shook his head.“No I think we’re good, thank you.”
“Sure thing. Take care andcongratulations again,” he said as he smiled.
He left us to it and I rose from thebed to get dressed more than eager to get the hell out of the hospital.
Cole was quiet as we drove home, andthough I was concerned about what was going on in his head, I was too tired togive it much thought. I worked a full shift, was attacked, and spent theremainder of the night in the ER. That was about the extent of what I coulddeal with at the moment. I even went so far as to fall asleep on the drive home,even though it was a short distance from our house.
