I slipped from the bedroom, unsure of my destination but needing an escape. I was relieved my stomach seemed willing to cooperate for the moment as I made my way out to the gorgeous living room with high ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the trees and land beyond.
“If you need to clear your head for a bit, you can borrow my car.” Wren’s quiet voice behind me had me barely suppressing a shriek of surprise. She paused, her expression soft. “But, fair warning, space is relative around here. One of the guys will need to follow you.”
I’d never risk my baby’s safety, and nodded, accepting that fact. “I don’t know if I can drive your car,” I admitted. Wren had a gorgeous classic car that Max had fixed up for her.
She smiled. “I was talking about our SUV. I love you, girl, but I don’t loan out my baby.”
I laughed quietly, accepting the keys she put in my hand. “You’re sure?”
She threw up her hands. “Hey, if Mad asks, you snatched them.” She winked. “But I know you’re going through a lot right now. If you need to clear your head—I get that.”
“I so do,” I breathed. “Thank you.”
Moments later I was driving down their driveway, Gunner’s truck in my rearview mirror. He hadn’t said a word when I’d emerged from the house, he’d simply offered a chin lift, indicating he’d follow me, and had started up his truck.
Maddox would likely give him hell, but the fact that Gunner had my back, that they all did, had a warm feeling spreading in my chest despite my current turmoil. These people truly were my friends as well.
At first, I hadn’t been sure of my destination, but within a mile I knew exactly where I wanted to go.
When I pulled up to the bakery a short time later, I marveled at the progress Maddox and the club had made in a few short weeks. Maddox had taken on the project with a determination that could have stemmed from nothing but love.
And he did love me, that much I knew.
I felt so confused.
I let myself into the dark building, leaving Gunner in the parking lot. I turned on a few lights, heading for the kitchen. Baking had always been a source of freedom for me, a time I could create, to make something mine during a time where nothing truly was. And as I pulled out the few ingredients we’d already stocked, and the beautiful baking instruments I’d only dreamed of using before, I lost myself in that creation once again.
It wasn’t long before movement in my periphery caught my eye. I nearly jumped a mile at the sight of Axel leaning against the doorframe.
“Didn’t mean to startle you.” His baritone was steady and assured, much like the man himself.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, confused.
“Maddox sent out the alarm a little while ago, wanting to know where you were. I was in the neighborhood, figured I’d find you here.”
I was surprised that he knew me better than I’d realized.
“Gun told him where you were. I figure we have a few minutes before my son comes barreling after you.”
Of that I had little doubt. “I wanted some time to clear my head,” I admitted.
He nodded thoughtfully. “Mad told me what he kept from you. I’ve been mulling it over in my head, trying to make sense of it. It wasn’t right, I get that. And you have the right to be pissed, I’m sure you won’t be hidin’ that fact.” He eyed me meaningfully. “All I can say is that my son loves you to the point of insanity.” He scratched his beard, lost in thought. “From the moment he was born, Mad loved hard.” His tone was uncharacteristically warm as he talked about his oldest son. “Even when he got older, he was never shy about hugs from his mama or telling his family he loved them. He just… owned it. Along with his confidence and determination, it was all just core to who he was from the beginning. I didn’t think it possible for that part of him to grow, to be more. But with you, from the moment he met you, it was. It is.”
I watched him, my mouth agape. I’d never heard Axel say so many words at once. And he wasn’t done.
“I won’t make excuses for him. Hell, I’ve made my own mistakes, blinded by love for his mother. All I can say in his defense is that he’s a Black. When we meet the woman we’re supposed to be with it’s like a ball of devotion in our bellies, ready to explode at the notion of any risk, any harm coming to her. You can’t believe you have something so powerful and so fragile at the same time.”
“Lying won’t solve anything,” I shared quietly.
“No,” he agreed. “And I’m sure my boy has already learned that lesson.”
“I know he loves me,” I admitted.
“Good. ’Cause if you know that, if you truly believe it, you two can get through anything.”
I nodded, my eyes cast down at the batter in my mixing bowl. “It just hit me all wrong. Almost everyone I knew before used me or avoided me because of my name. I still struggle with where I come from,” I confessed.
“From everything I’ve heard, you come from two parents who loved you. You’ve got a gentle spirit and fire in your belly. If your past helped you become the woman you are today, I say maybe it’s time you embraced it. Wear that shit like the battle scar it is. Where you came from never shaped the way Mad feels about you, the way we all feel about you. We’re proud as hell. You should be too.”
