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As they landed, the sight of the palace took her breath away. Made of the same mellow, golden brick as the palace in Siyad, this coastal retreat was still completely different, built right into the rock, its elegant towers pointing towards the sky.
‘It’s quite something,’ Aziz said with a small smile. ‘I’ve only been here once before myself.’
Olivia followed him from the helicopter towards the steps cut into the cliff side that curved steeply up to the palace. ‘Why only once?’
Aziz shrugged. ‘As you know, I spent as little time in Kadar as possible. I think we went here once for a family holiday—my father’s birthday, if I remember.’ He sounded indifferent, as if he barely remembered when or why he’d been, but Olivia still wondered.
‘Tell me about your father,’ she said quietly and, even though he was several steps ahead of her, Olivia felt him stiffen.
‘Why on earth would I want to talk about him?’ he answered after a pause.
Olivia waited until they’d reached the top of the cliff-side steps, the palace’s ornate wooden doors in front of them. ‘Because I know your relationship with him was a troubled one, and it affects you even now. I want to understand.’
‘There’s nothing to understand.’ Aziz turned to open the doors and then began greeting the staff who were lined up in the mosaic-tiled foyer.
Olivia followed him, murmuring her own greetings, and then they were shown to their private quarters, a beautiful suite of rooms with balconies overlooking a garden with cascading pools, the sea visible beyond. She decided to let the personal questions go for now. There would be time later, she hoped, to get Aziz to open up to her.
‘This is amazing,’ she said as she stood on a balcony, gazing out at the magnificent view. ‘I can hardly believe I’m here.’
Aziz stood in the doorway, the latticed shutters open to the wind and sun. ‘It’s been a whirlwind few days.’
‘Yes.’ In the space of just seventy-two hours she’d gone from impersonating a queen to marrying a Sheikh. No wonder her head was still spinning.
Her hands curved around the stone railing, her gaze still fixed on the sea shimmering under the noonday sun. She wanted to tell Aziz something of what was in her heart. She wanted to tell him that in the space of just a few days he’d changed her. And, even though it was scary, she was glad she’d changed, grateful that he’d opened her up.
And she wanted to change him too, to show him that you could risk your heart again, that love was worth it. But how could she explain any of that when she wasn’t even sure if she believed it? When just the thought of telling him, never mind living it out, scared her senseless?
Why couldn’t she just be satisfied with what Aziz had offered? Enough and no more. He didn’t want to go deeper with her, even if she now thought she might want to. She’d already told him her secrets; he had no call to tell her his.
You haven’t told him everything. No, she hadn’t gone into much detail about those awful, endless years after she’d given up Daniel. Hadn’t admitted just how low she’d sunk, how she hadn’t thought she’d ever crawl out of that dark, dark hole. Hadn’t admitted how it wasn’t just losing Daniel but losing her parents’, and especially her father’s, trust that had made her retreat into isolated numbness.
And he probably didn’t want to hear it all now.
He came to stand behind her and rested his hands lightly on her shoulders. ‘How about a swim?’
She glanced down at the cascading pools and then smiled up at him. Enough. She’d let this, him, be enough. ‘That sounds good.’
* * *
They spent three days at the coastal palace, chatting and laughing, swimming and making love. With every day she spent in Aziz’s company, every hour, Olivia knew she was falling deeper and deeper in love with him. She also knew he wasn’t falling in love with her.
She saw how, even when he was right there with her, he kept some part of himself removed. Remote. Even when she lay in his arms, when he kissed her, when he buried himself inside her, he held something back.
And as the days passed she knew with an utter certainty that she wanted that part, wanted to reach all of him. Love all of him. Even if it was scary. Even if it hurt.
She just didn’t know how to begin.
‘I love hearing you laugh,’ Aziz said as they lay on the sun-warmed tiles by the main pool’s waterfall one afternoon, another pool shimmering below them. ‘It makes me realise how little I heard it in Paris. How sad you seemed, but I don’t think I quite realised it then.’
Olivia rolled onto her stomach. ‘Why should you have? I was just your housekeeper.’
‘And you’re my wife now.’ He stroked her cheek and Olivia took a deep breath. For the last three days she’d been telling herself that she shouldn’t push, yet now she couldn’t keep herself from it. She wanted to know more about this man she cared about. This man she loved.
‘Aziz, will you tell me more about yourself? About your past and your childhood and what made you leave Kadar?’
His fingers stilled on her cheek then he dropped his hand and turned onto his back, staring up at the cloudless blue sky. Olivia waited, hoping he might tell her at least a little.
‘There’s not all that much to tell, really,’ he said after an endless moment. His voice sounded almost disinterested, but Olivia knew now how Aziz hid himself from her and from everyone with a light tone, a raised eyebrow, a teasing smile. His mask.
‘Everyone has something to tell,’ she answered, matching his light tone. Deliberately she reached out and skimmed one hand along his bare chest, running her fingertips through the water droplets that beaded there. Touching him still felt a little strange, and filled her with wonder. She liked it and wanted it to become familiar, easy. Natural. ‘And, whatever your story is,’ she continued, running her fingertip along the defined muscles of his abdomen, ‘I want to hear it.’
Aziz trapped her hand against his stomach and twisted to look up at her with a wicked smile. ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t rather do something else instead?’
‘Aziz.’
‘You want to hear me blather on about my childhood?’ He moved her hand a little lower. ‘I’d like to hear you moan with pleasure.’
She flushed, desire already coursing through her veins in a molten river. She wanted that too, just as much.
Almost.
‘Aziz, I’m serious.’
‘So am I.’ But he let go of her hand with a sigh and stared up at the sky once more. ‘So, what do you want to know? My favourite subject in school? My hobbies? I liked maths and making paper aeroplanes.’
‘That’s a start, I suppose,’ Olivia answered with a little smile. ‘I could have guessed the maths, considering what a financial whiz you are now. The paper aeroplanes are a bit of a surprise.’
‘I used to drive my mother mad, with all the crumpled sheets of paper lying around.’
‘Were you very close to your mother?’
He shrugged, the movement easy, yet his face had gone still, blank. Olivia sighed.
‘Do you not want to tell me anything, Aziz?’
‘I thought,’ he said after a moment, ‘That wasn’t the kind of relationship we were meant to have.’
Stung, she blinked a few times, forcing the hurt back. He was right, she knew that. She was the one who had changed, not him. ‘I told you my secrets.’
He gazed at her, his face bland, inscrutable. ‘Do you regret it?’
‘No, I don’t. It felt good to open up like that. Scary and surprising, but good.’ She hesitated, then made herself add, ‘Maybe you’d find it was too.’
‘Cathartic soul-baring? Hmm, I’m not so sure.’ He was back to being teasing, masking the evasion with a playful smile. ‘I can think of a few other things I’d like to do,’ he added, and reached out with one hand to toy suggestively with the strap of her swimming costume.
Olivia pulled away slightly. ‘I’m not asking for your deepest secrets,’ she said, trying to sound as casual as he did. She had a feeling she hadn’t quite managed it. ‘I just want to know you a little better. We are married, after all.’
Aziz was silent for a moment; he slid one hand up and down her arm almost absently, his brow furrowed. ‘All right,’ he finally said. ‘What is it you wanted to know? Was I close to my mother? Yes, as a small child. But when we moved to the palace she withdrew more and more from everyone, even me, and then I hardly saw her after I went away to school.’ He flipped onto his stomach and reached for her again. ‘Now, let’s get back to the more important issue...’
And, with a little laugh, Olivia let him draw her towards him. She didn’t think she’d get much farther with Aziz’s confidences just then, and in any case she had neither the willpower nor the desire to resist him any longer.
* * *
Later, the shuttered windows open to the sun setting over the Arabian Sea turning the placid water to gold, they lay on the huge canopied bed, legs entwined, heart rates slowing.
A sleepy satisfaction was stealing through Olivia, making her feel almost boneless. Aziz pressed a hand to her flat stomach.
