“And you like it.” He drew himself up and kissed me, my slickness still on his tongue as I tasted us together.
“Can I put my hands on you now?” I said against his lips.
“Yes.” He stroked my hair. “You were very good.”
Finally. I pulled him against me, tugging at his lower lip while he kissed me again. We kissed like we’d done it so many times before, like it was something we could savor. His erection pressed against my leg. Even though I’d just come—twice—the contact sent a bolt of desire through me, and the languid kiss turned more desperate.
“Still feeling needy?” he rasped.
It wasn’t a need all over, not for release. But it was a need forhim. “I want to feel you. All of you.” I pleaded with my eyes.
Raphael ran his hand over my body, a touch obviously meant to soothe, to praise, instead of titillate.
A flush heated my skin. “I can feel how much you want me.”
He let out a dry laugh. “Oh, my sweet viper. What you feel barely scratches the surface.”
“Then… then have sex with me, Raphael.” It felt like my face was on fire with the blunt statement. In the shadows of the ocean last night, in the grips of lust, I’d whispered far filthier things.
“Patience.” He used his teeth to tug on my earlobe. “I’m not going to fuck you until we’re back in Damerel and you’re in my bed for good.”
I stiffened.
Damerel?
For good?
Raphael sensed the change immediately. His hand dropped away as he lifted himself above, searching my face. “What’s wrong?”
What was wrong? It was like I was back in the freezing ocean with none of the exhilaration and I’d forgotten how to tread water, ice surrounding me.
There was no “for good” for me, not with Raphael. I still had to leave. When—not if, because there was no doubt in my mind at some point I’d slip—whenhe found out I was the necromancer, he would kill me. He would have no choice.
“This… this won’t be continuing in Damerel.”
He furrowed his brow as if he didn’t believe what I was saying. “And why is that?”
Because I won’t be there.“This was about exploring wants while we were here. Indulging. It was never meant to be permanent.” I pushed back, but there wasn’t far to go. I sat up against the headboard, pulling a pillow over me.
“And that’s your argument? This is just a fantasy for you? You want a fuck to get it out of your system?” He rose to his knees, voice turning to a menacing caress. “What we have goes deeper than anything that mundane. My blood courses inside you. You consume me, body, mind, heart. You can’t deny that.”
“Youcan’t deny I never would have done this without the deal,” I snapped, trying to put emotional distance between us even if I couldn’t manage any other kind. Because no, I couldn’t deny this was something more than a dalliance. Not out loud. Not to myself, even. I’d told myself that last night was just about the physical, but Raphael had shown me so much more these past two weeks. So many sides of him, sides of myself he brought out that I would have to lock away.
He drew back. “You’re trying to make this about the bargain.” He actually sounded insulted.
I swallowed. No, this was so much more than that. Which was why it was imperative I got away as soon as possible before I did something truly stupid, like risk my life instead of just my heart. “Raphael, we have a deal. You’ll honor it and help me break the bond when the festival ends tonight, right?”
“The fucking bond,” he muttered. “You’re the only one who can release the bond. You could have done so months ago ifyou’d just stopped fighting me and yourself at every turn. All the bond does is limit your ability to self-sabotage. Your body needs to drink to survive, so it won’t let you go far until you’ve learned to manage your thirst, until your body is strong enough to wake when there’s daylight, until you can thrall people for your own safety.”
The pieces clicked into place. That was why he’d made the deal he had. If I gave in to what I wanted naturally as a vampire, the bond would break anyway.
“So I could have done this the whole time?”
“If you let yourself. If you got out of your own way, which you weren’t going to do anytime soon while you denied what you were.”
What I was.
Witch. Vampire.
