“I’m done for today,” I declared through gritted fangs, flinging the practice sword at Raphael, handle first.
He caught it midair, assessing me. Did I fall as short in his measure as I did my own?
Did I care?
“We’ll practice again tomorrow,” was all he said.
I didn’t bother replying as I left the training ring, not caring that the fledgling bond meant I could only go so far. I needed to put some distance between us.
When I made it back to my room, and saw the decanter of blood waiting, I didn’t care whose it was. I drank every drop, chugging the putrid sludge down my throat, fighting to regain my sanity.
The thirst eased, just barely.
But still, I ached.
Chapter Ten
Samara
After training, I foundsolace in the Black Grimoire again. The same way smelling Raphael’s blood made me feel all too much like a monster, tracing the spells inked in the grimoire made me feel like a witch all the way to my bones, even as my skin continued to scab over. The book helped smooth over the current of emotions, replacing it with righteous anger.
Simpler. Better.
I’d lived my entire life afraid of vampires. Now I had the power to do something about it. And not just for me, for all witches and voids in the kingdom. What if they didn’t have to live in fear of the vampires? What if I could finally have a place among them, with gifts that put us on equal footing with the surrounding kingdoms?
If only I could access it.
To hold the book, I used fabric, the sparks of magic stinging, but still—magic.Mymagic. I had no idea what I could do, or how to do it. Spells in a grimoire were extremely complex by nature, anyway. But there should be base powers—like the ability tothrall vampires—I should probably be able to access without too much trouble. Not that I had a way to test it.
I shut the book and frowned. Of course, witches also came in different strengths. One aquamancer might be able to conjure rain in a drought, another might only be able to part the shallowest stream.
I worried my lip with a fang. There was the very real possibility I was a weak necromancer. After all, my magic had never been detected as a child. I’d also spent my adolescence in Greymere. The magic-blocking prison was meant to drive witches insane, but I’d survived.
Or maybe my powers hadn’t activated until I’d spent time around vampires.
I turned the idea over in my mind. It stood to reason if being around vampires in the first place had drawn my powers out, I might only discover their depths if I spent more time with them.
And I knew just the witch to help me.
I reached for the summoning bell Thea had gifted me. The wooden handle was smooth, the silver polished, although I had rarely used it. She’d trusted me with it, which was no small measure in a friendship. I rang it.
“I thought you’d never call,” she chirped, strolling inside a few minutes later. “Did you recover from training earlier? You two went forhours.”
I didn’t need the reminder. I had no desire to be around Raphael, especially not when his blood could so quickly turn me into an animal.
“It was different, but I survived,” I hedged.
“Glad to hear it.” She winked at me. “What shall we do this evening? I found a great cache of old romances in the library we could check out.”
Thea’s willingness to pick up our friendship as if nothing had happened was a comfort beyond words. But it made the fact I wanted to use that kindness all the worse.
I fiddled with the edge of my dress’s sleeve. Though I couldn’t lie as a vampire, I wasn’t yet being fully honest with Thea. “I was thinking… maybe it’s time to meet more people. More vampires,” I clarified. “I know you spend a fair amount of time socializing at court. I’d like to do that too.”
Her gaze widened in surprise. “Really? You always declined my invitations before. What changed?”
Shit. How to answer without lying? “I became… this.” I gestured at myself with a hand. She’d think I meant a vampire. But I was thinkingthe necromancer. “I can’t hide from that. And I don’t want to.”
I’m something vampires should fear. I shouldn’t fear them.
