I’d be a danger to everyone in the city. I’d be the monster I feared all vampires were, out of control and blood-hungry.
I didn’t want to say it. I really, really didn’t want to say it to Raphael. But was my pride worth someone’s safety?
Memories of my mother flashed in my mind: her last moments in an arena with a vampire, ripped to shreds as it sucked her severed limbs for drops of blood.
That will never be me.
“Raphael, I need to drink.”
I’d surprised him. It was subtle on his face, quickly hidden. But the slight widening of his eyes, the flare of his nostrils. “Youdrank before we started this morning. Even as a fledgling, that should suffice.”
I had. I’d choked the awful stuff down for days without complaint, because after a night under the bed with him, I’d wanted anything that could ease the pain.
I looked away. “I need more.”
Raphael studied me. “We used the last of it earlier. If we stop, it’ll have to be an animal. You’ve never taken like that.”
My stomach revolted at the thought of digging my fangs into some furry neck. But I couldn’t go to the city like this.
Would it be some tiny squirrel? With the quantities I was drinking, it would need to be dozens. Or something larger? A deer?
I might have eaten rats once, but the thought of drinking from an animal was even worse. At least with a goblet I could sip it, not even using my fangs as I swallowed enough to tame the beast inside me.
But I’m so thirsty. “I… I don’t know…” I trailed off.
“You really do need to drink.”
I thought he was responding to my plea, but the way he looked at me, like he saw through me—my mental shield had slipped.
“There’s another solution,” he said slowly.
I looked at him, waiting for him to continue.
He arched a brow. Oh. I could drink his blood.
I weighed the options. One, I could not drink and try to endure until we arrived. But if I miscalculated, if I hurt someone… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Two, I could do what he offered and make some unsuspecting woodland creature my meal. Our entire entourage would watch while I gave in to this monster inside me.
That left the third option.
It was the most logical. It didn’t risk either of our standings; no one would know. I couldn’t hurt Raphael. He was too strong for that.
But I hesitated. Biting him… it wouldn’t be an accident. Not like the last two times. If I did this, I was choosing it.
Raphael watched the silent decision play out on my face. Watched as I came to the only possible conclusion.
I tugged the velvet curtain down on either side. Guards flanked the carriage when the road allowed it.
Raphael made no comment.
I worried my lower lip, staring at him. He was just… there, watching me, waiting for me to make a move.
“Can I use your wrist?” I bartered.
“Neck.”
I frowned. “Wouldn’t the wrist be easier?”
“It might. But you’ll use my neck.”
