I gritted my teeth.
“Obviously, I have them. I miss Polly. It’s driving me fucking crazy not knowing where she is. Why the hell haven’t I found her yet? It’s been almost amonth. I feel like I’m dying.”
I looked down at my hands.
“Let’s go around in a circle,” Mac said. “That’s what the paper recommends.”
We stared at each other.
This was ridiculous. What did a bunch of crusty old bikers know about their feelings?
“Yeah, Prez, you are not in touch with your feelings at all,” Fizz said. “It’s unfortunate.”
“Idiot! You didn’t even get the full name of the woman you’re into.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t stupid enough to say something rude aboutPolly. I never would.”
“All right, all right,” I growled. “I acknowledge I was a bastard. Now what?”
“She’s the best thing that’s happened to this club,” Mac put in.
“Right, because now we have to eat your cooking, asshole.”
“I didn’t ask to cook,” Mac said indignantly, his beard bristling. “Really it should be Asparagus doing the cooking, only he’s even worse than me at it.”
“You fuckers better start having some feelings,” I said. “We’re joining the 21stfucking century. I’m even getting a cellphone.”
They all just stared at me.
“I’m taking Uncle on a real date,” Vladdy said.
For a moment there was silence again.
“Good for you, man,” I said.
“Finally,” Fizz said, “it was kind of obvious, you two.”
“It was not.”
“Yes, it was.”
“You talk a big game,” Uncle said grumpily to Vladdy. “We’ll see if you can live up to this date.”
Vladdy’s stern mouth was curved up in a smile.
“What about you?” Fizz said to me. “You don’t want Unc to be better than you. Look, he’s happy and you’re miserable. That should motivate you, you’re welcome.”
I sighed, looked down at my hands. They were twisted together, the scars from fights and equipment and the Shop criss-crossed across my fingers.
I’d been hard all my life.
“My feeling is. . . I think I might love Polly.”
“You picked a very strange way to tell her.”
“I know that,Jesus. I know I was an asshole. You don’t have to keep reminding me.”
“Look at Vladdy,” Fizz went on, because they were all determined to give me shit. “He’s happy because he told his feelings. You are unhappy becauseyourfeelings have constipated you.”
