“Bummer.” Lily turned to look at Katherine. Her eyes were itchy from crying and her face felt puffy. If what Katherine said was true and she was a witch, could she take care of that? Use her magic—actual freakingmagic—to turn herself from a scrawny kid into a supermodel with a flick of her wrist?
“So what, then? Do I just point my finger and sayabracadabraand I get anything I want?”
“Kind of.”
For a brief, shining moment, Lily was filled with the happiness of possibility, the excitement that came with a door opening to a whole new world. But then, the door slammed shut again, the thought of all that that world brought with it rendering the thrill moot.
“Well, I didn’t want to hurt my brother. But that happened anyway.”
Katherine bit her lip. Lily wondered if Katherine was scared of her. Her power had calmed from a scream to a whisper, but she knew it was still stalking nearby, waiting for her to slip up and let it free again. Katherine said she had this magic too. That she’d learned to control it. A few years ago, Lily would have believed her. She would never have questioned that an adult had the solution to what was bothering her, no matter how difficult. But growing up is a lesson in finding out again and again and again that adults also have no clue what they’re doing.
Finally, Katherine said, “It feels like you’re going to crack, right?”
“Yeah. Like all my blood is trying to escape my body.”
“It’s because your magic just came in. It’s all coming up at once. It’s overwhelming.”
Lily’s breath flew out in a quick rush. “Yeah,” she said, her tone making it clear that she meantno shit.
“Your magic right now is what we call ‘unsettled,’” Katherine continued. “Because you were born to non-magical parents and are the first of your line, your magic is incredibly strong. Strong enough that it has a will of its own. One that’s not bound by the same rules as the magic of kids whose parents are witches.”
“Never thought I’d actuallywantrules,” Lily muttered.
“You’ll get them,” Katherine said. “In a few years, usually around eighteen or nineteen, your magic will settle, like the rest of us. Your power will be much calmer and easier to handle, and you’ll get to join our coven.”
And be a witch, a word that was sounding less and less fake by the second.
“If you don’t use wands, how do you do magic?”
“We use spellbooks. And blood.”
Lily stared at Katherine, her mouth agape. “Blood? From like, animals?”
“No, your own blood.”
That made Lily’s jaw drop even further. “Like, by cutting yourself? You’re not supposed to cut yourself.”
“I know,” Katherine said. “Unfortunately, settled magic does require your blood, but we only cut the palms of our hands. The coven runs support groups to help any witches struggling with self-harm. We don’t fuck around with mental health. If you need help, the resources are there.”
They stopped at a light, and Katherine reached into her pocket and pulled out a knife, handing it to Lily.
“That’s called a caster.”
“No.” Lily flicked out the blade. “That’s called a switchblade. And I’m pretty sure it’s illegal.”
“Okay, yes, it’s a switchblade,” Katherine admitted. “But it was given to me by my mentor, Sylvia, the head of Aestas. We blessed it, and now it’s the knife that I use whenever I need to cut myself to do magic.”
“So you can’t just use a steak knife?”
“I could. But magic is a special, beautiful thing. We use our castersto honor the gift we’ve been given. Once you’re settled, you’ll be given a caster too.”
Witches,covens,casters. The new terms swirled around Lily’s head. She felt like she was cramming for a test she had no hope of passing.
“And until then, I… what? Try not to let myself get even a little annoyed so I don’t accidentally maul anyone?”
Lily set Katherine’s caster down in the cupholder. It clanked against something. Lily pulled out the string of colorful plastic beads—a friendship bracelet that had never been looped off. She wrapped it around her fingers, cutting off her circulation, letting the sensation ground her in this unreal moment.
“Until then, you work on learning to control your power. We have a special training site set up for kids like you in Oak Grove, near the Sequoia National Forest. Our staff there has been training unsettled witches for years. Helping them control their powers so that they can be around people without worrying about snapping.”
