This is all a misunderstanding,she told herself. Maybe Sylvia had been taking from more ordinaries since Silas arrived. Katherine hadn’t seen her doing it, but it was possible Sylvia would keep it a secret—she knew how wary Katherine was at the thought of her taking that risk with Noctis breathing down their necks.
Except even that wouldn’t explain the amount of power that Sylvia flooded into that spell. She would have had to completely drain the ordinary for that.
She would have had to commit murder.
Katherine’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the side door slamming open, followed by a smatter of light giggling. She rounded the corner to see Fiona with her back pressed up against the dumpster by Tess, who had both palms on her cheeks as they kissed. They seemed so happy and carefree. Katherine’s breath caught.
The noise alerted Fiona and Tess to her presence, and they separated, Tess giving her a sheepish smile while Fiona just stared at her, her brows stitching together with concern.
“Hey, babe,” she said. “What are you doing lurking in the parking lot?”
Katherine didn’t know what did it—the pet name, maybe, or Fiona’s use of the wordlurking, or just the fact that she thought to care at all. Whatever it was, it broke something open in Katherine, and there was no stopping it.
She cried. From somewhere else, she heard Fiona say quietly that maybe Tess should go back inside. Heard the door slide open and then shut again. Felt Fiona’s arms wrap around her.
“Please just tell me what’s going on,” Fiona whispered.
“Nothing’s going on,” Katherine lied.
“Come on. You’ve been acting strange for days, and now you’re having a breakdown in the parking lot. Tell me.”
Katherine lifted her head out of her hands, looking at her friend. She tried to think of something that would explain everything—but her brain wouldn’t work. It wouldn’t move past Lily’s body, and Silas’ face as they clung to the walls of his hotel, and the wrongness she felt when Sylvia did magic.
The secrets were weighing her down, sinking her into a deep loneliness she hadn’t felt since after her snap.
And so she told the truth. About Lily. The panic when she’d burned her body, the depression that had hung around Katherine like a cloud since that light was snuffed out. About Byron. The fury she’d felt when she pummeled him, followed by the immediate shame when she realized he wasn’t the one behind it. About Silas. The pull of wanting him to stay, even when she told him to go.
And then, finally, about Sylvia. The ordinaries she’d been stealing from for years. The confusion that had gripped Katherine since she saw that flash of strange magic. The fear that she was missing something important, that if she didn’t figure it out soon, everything was going to fall apart.
“Oh, Katherine,” Fiona said when she finished. She wrapped her arms around Katherine’s shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug. Katherine let herself relax into it, breathing in Fiona’s floral perfume. When they separated a moment later, Fiona kept a comforting hand on her shoulder, grounding her.
“Let me start by saying none of this was your fault,” Fiona said. “You weren’t there when Lily snapped. I know you feel like you have to save everyone, but you just can’t. People make their own decisions.”
Katherine nodded, wiping away some of the tears on her cheeks.
“With the Sylvia stuff… I don’t even know how to say…” Fiona started, before trailing off. “It’s just… are you sure something was up with Sylvia’s magic? It seems like you’ve had a tough few days. And you were wrong about Byron and Lily. Maybe this also isn’t what you think.”
Heat ignited low in Katherine’s stomach. “It is,” she said, the words sharper than she intended.
“Okay,” Fiona said, ever the peacemaker. “Okay. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that she did something bad.”
Katherine’s thin hold on her emotions snapped. “It does, Fiona! It means that Sylvia did who the fuck knows what, and now I need to deal with that too, and it never fucking ends. The shit never stops coming.”
“Maybe because you keep inserting yourself into it!”
Fiona reeled back at that, as if she was shocked that those words had come out of her mouth. Katherine backed up too, the distance between them suddenly three times as wide.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Fiona sighed. “Honestly? I think you seek out trouble. Conflict. Stress. It’s like you can’t live without it.”
“It’s my job, Fiona.”
“No, it’s not,” Fiona said, her volume rising as her frustration grew.“There are tons of other Executors who live perfectly normal, happy lives. You choose to let your anger eat at you every moment of every day. You choose to antagonize people until they have no choice but to hate you. You choose not to be happy.”
“What do you want me to do? Fall head over heels in love with anyone who so much as smiles at me?”
Fiona’s eyes narrowed. Katherine flinched. She knew that wasn’t fair, knew it was her anger talking, but she couldn’t bring herself to apologize. She couldn’t risk the very real chance that Fiona wouldn’t accept it.
