“Perry.”
“Please. Let me finish. I love my brother. And I have no doubt that he loves you. But you have a daughter, and you are her only parent.” Perry paused, trying to gather his words. How to explain all the years of Jake being Jake? “He has a history. Of being the life of the party, the fun one. The one everybody wants to be around.”
Even through the screen door, he could see Olivia’s jaw set. “I know that, and it’s one of the things I’ve come to love about him.”
“Well.” This did not surprise him. All the women Jake encountered seemed to feel this way. “He may not mean to hurt people, but he does. Jake doesn’t understand what it takes to be a parent. To put another life before your own. Togrow up. You need someone who does.”
Olivia said nothing, but neither had she closed the door in his face. Perry took this as permission to go on.
“There have been other women.”
“We all have pasts, Perry.”
He considered this. Perry’s past was not at all like his brother’s. And he doubted Olivia’s was, either. “Well, you are nothing like any of them. You’re a lovely woman, Olivia. With a lovely child. You both deserve someone who will take care of you. Jake may want to, but he doesn’t know how. He lives for the present. For the thrill and excitement. For himself. And that gets him into trouble.” Perry looked at his feet. “As we’ve seen.”
Olivia let out a small whiff of air and pivoted away. For a moment, Perry feared she would tell him to get the hell out of there. To mind his own business. As she had every right to. But she turned back to him.
“I’m not stupid,” she told him.
“I never thought you were.”
“And I’m not naïve. Luci is—hasalways been—my first concern. I am not looking to Jake to rescue us or to take care of us. I can do that on my own. I always have.”
Perry nodded. “I have no doubt.”
“Then why are you telling me all this?”
Perry stared through the screen at her. Why was he? If Amelia had asked him, what could he possibly say? That some deep wellinside him bubbled with the urge to protect Olivia and Luci? And what right did he have to assign himself that role, anyway? It was all so inappropriate, so unlike him. Perry shook his head, bashfully. “I really don’t know.”
“Well you should know this. I love your brother. I appreciate your concern, but Luci and I have got this.” She paused. “You’re right about some things. There have been times I thought Jake needed to grow up, to be more serious. Or—I don’t know—more something.”
She was getting flustered, and even in the growing darkness he could see her cheeks pinken. Perry felt badly. But he couldn’t stop staring.
“And I know he’s not a parent, and has no idea how to parent. But his instincts are good and his heart is, too. He is all heart.” Her voice was sharp. But there was also a break in it that brought him sadness. Olivia knew.
“He is all heart,” he agreed softly. “But his heart is aimed at pleasure. I have no doubt why he finds pleasure in you and Luci. But life is about the hard stuff, and I worry that someday, not far from now, he will tire. He will tire when he realizes that being a husband and a father figure are hard work. That living and working full-time in one place will bore him. And he will do something.”
“What? What will he do, Perry?”
“He will disappoint you.”
Olivia stared back at him, saying nothing. Perry felt a wave of something run through him. Something akin to guilt. Standing under the stars on the stoop of his brother’s fiancée on a heady summer night, there was no shortage of reasons why it should.
Olivia stepped away from the screen, her back to him. “I heard what you had to say,” she said, finally.
“I’m sorry” was all Perry could think of. He turned to go, but he could feel her standing in the doorway behind him.
As he stood on the step, an overwhelming fragrance met his nose. He paused, inhaling deeply. “What is that? Lilac?”
Olivia’s voice was soft. “Heliotrope. Some people think it smells like baby powder or vanilla. Luci thinks it’s more like grapes.”
He inhaled once more. “I agree with Luci.”
As he navigated the dark hills back home, Perry flicked through the radio stations, turning the volume up to drown his thoughts. It didn’t help. He wondered how Emma was doing out with her friends, and if her head hurt. Idly, he thought of Amelia and whether she had noticed how long he’d been gone. And what it meant if she had not.
He wondered if perhaps he should discuss the matter of replacing the boat, or if it were too soon. For a brief moment, he allowed himself to think of Jake; of the terrible pain his mother had described him suffering, and the limp. And then he pictured Olivia’s sad eyes as she stood on the other side of the screen door, his words fluttering between them like satin ribbons come undone.
For the drive home, these worries batted about his conscience like fireflies, until a dull ache spread across his forehead.Enough.He would not entertain any more of these thoughts, he decided. Mind over matter. But despite the growing miles between Olivia’s cottage and his car, Perry could not escape the faintest scent of grapes.
