“What portrait, Ryan?”
“Of me.”
In my mind’s eye, Mom and I walk into the studio, giggling to each other like coconspirators. She’s so…alive. Her skin is glowing. Sunshine streams in from the windows, casting warm stripes on the wooden plank floor.
“Your daddy is going to love this.”
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
I hear papers rustling as she flips through the sketches on Daddy’s big drafting table. I wander through the cabin, smiling at all the birdhouses in various stages of construction. We’re supposed to paintthisone on the weekend. Daddy said so.
“Here we go!” Triumphant, Mom holds up the thick paper. My own face stares back at me. “Look how pretty you are.”
“Are you still in the studio, Ryan?” Dr.Wilmer now.
“Uh-huh. But we’re about to leave and—no, she’s stopping.”
“Careful, sweet pea. That board is loose.”
My throat is impossibly tight. I can’t breathe.
“Ryan?”
“She found the sketches.” I moan in despair. “Of his victims. She just found the drawings he hid under the floor.”
Dr.Wilmer’s tone becomes firm, but not aggressive. “What is your mom doing now?”
“She’s looking at them.”
I see her hands trembling. Her lips parting in shock.
“What’s wrong, Momma?”
She takes a ragged breath. “Nothing’s wrong, Gabby. C’mon. Let’s go back to the big house.”
“She slipped something into her pocket.” I bite my lip so hard it stings. “We’re leaving now. We’re back in the woods. We’re…walking. Home, I think.”
“Let’s refocus on your breathing, Ryan. I can see you holding your breath.”
I am?
Oh. Maybe that’s why my lungs are burning.
Dr.Wilmer softens her voice. “Deep inhale, one, two…long exhale, three, four…”
I breathe.
One and two and three and four—
“We’ll be there tonight. I just booked the flights. Please, Mom, stop. I’ll explain when Gabby and I get there. What? For Pete’s sake, no. No. Gabriel won’t be joining us.”
“I wanna talk to Granny!”
Mom covers the phone. “Gabby,” she chides. “I told you to go and pick a few toys to bring with you on our trip.”
“It’s the night he shot her,” I blurt out. “No. I don’t want to be here.”
