I extricate myself from the group and climb up the slope. Jasmine and I caught a ride with Kristy and Gillian to the party, so I know where to find their car. But that’s not where I’m headed. I wait until I’m out of eyeshot before hurrying down the sand. I don’t even care that my cardigan is waterlogged and my shoes make squishing sounds with each step I take.
Long grass slaps my legs, and something sharp scrapes my arm, but I don’t stop. I run faster down the beach, wishing I could dive back into the water and let the weeds pull me down.
I look around the tall grass to make sure I’m totally alone.
And only then do I let the tears fall.
Maybe I overreacted back there, but at the same time,didI? This is Starling, after all. My father’s hunting ground. Would anyone truly be surprised if a bodyhadfloated by? Maybe Ty’s theory about the lake is an accurate one. Maybe the mud and silt do shift and settle depending on the time of year, dislodging any remains that might be trapped down there.
I wipe away the tears, but my eyelids continue to burn. Somany people’s lives have been ruined by my father. It feels like his cancer has infected everyone in this town. It’smycancer. I have his blood, and if everyone at this party knew who I was, they’d run me out of town.
I hear footsteps, and somehow I’m not surprised to see Chase appear through the grass. In the moonlight, his features look sharper, as if they’ve been carved from stone.
“Are you okay?” he asks gruffly.
I don’t answer for a long time, because anything I say will only be another lie.
“No,” I finally whisper.
When I shiver in my wet clothes, he peels his hoodie off and hands it to me. “Here. Put this on.”
I do. It smells like campfire smoke and the scent of his shampoo.
“Let me take you home.”
Home. Like I have one of those.
“No.”
He sighs. “Vehicle of death?”
I shake my head. “No. I don’t care about that. I just don’t want to see my family right now.”
He’s quiet for a moment, gazing out at the dark lake. Then he says, “All right. But you still can’t stay here. It’s freezing out.”
He’s right. I can already feel the chill seeping into my bones. I follow him back to the party, toward the deserted section of grass where his motorcycle sits. I don’t think anyone notices me get on it. They’re all too busy enjoying themselves.
I don’t remember the drive. It doesn’t scare or thrill me likelast time. I’m completely numb, I guess. The next thing I know, we’re pulling up to a small bungalow with a red front door and a tidy yard.
He says, “Come on. You can get cleaned up here.”
We go in and he flips on the lights to reveal a spacious hall opening onto a cozy living room. The house is silent as he locks the door behind us.
“Where’s your mom?” I ask.
“She works nights,” he says, leading me toward another hallway in the back of the house. He stops at the linen closet to pull out a few towels. “Bathroom’s on your left if you want to take a shower and warm up. And if you want to give me your clothes, I’ll throw ’em in the dryer.”
I don’t know if he wants me to strip in front of him, so there’s an awkward little dance as I finally move around him and enter the bathroom. I take a shower and let the hot water fall over me, the events of the past few days finally taking their toll on me. I keep seeing my mother’s face. I keep hearing her screaming at my father about what she found.
“Why was there blood on those sketchbooks? What have you done, Gabriel! What have you fucking done!”
“Why didn’t you go to the police first?” I growl out loud, the sound muffled by the rushing water.
Why, damn it? Why did she go home first? Why did she book tickets to Allentown rather than go to the sheriff? Why didn’t she tell Gran over the phone what she found in my father’s studio?
The only reason that makes sense to me is that she didn’t truly believe it. At least not yet. Maybe some tiny, hope-filled part ofher was desperately trying to convince herself there was a good explanation for everything. Maybe she was afraid to turn him in without knowing for sure.
I wrap an oversized towel around myself and step barefoot into the hall. “Chase?”
