“How did you deal with her murder?” I ask quietly. “How do you deal with itnow, not knowing where her body is?”
JP sighs. “It kills me to think about it, I won’t lie. But…I had to let it go. I had two kids who’d lost their mom. Dwelling on the loss would’ve only eaten me alive. Would’ve taken me away from Everett and Nikki when they needed me most.”
I nod slowly. “I get that.”
“Sometimes you have to choose who you’re going to live for. Leah wouldn’t want me lost in bitterness. She’d want me to be here for them, not chasing ghosts.”
An ache squeezes my chest. It’s impossible not to see JP in a new light, to understand the kind of strength he must’ve needed to simply keep going after his wife was gone.
I hesitate before voicing another question. “Are you mad that I broke up with Everett?”
JP gives me a curious glance. “Mad?” he repeats. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “Ryan, my son’s love life is his concern, not mine.”
“Really?”
“Really. Whatever happens between you two, that’s for you and him to decide.”
I’m not sure what I expected him to say, but there’s a strange relief in knowing he doesn’t hate me for ending things with his son.
“You’re both young,” JP continues. “There’s a lot of living to do, a lot of figuring out who you are and what you want. Listen, Ev’s a good kid, but he’s not perfect. Neither are you. Neither am I. Nobody is. That’s part of what you work through, no matter who you’re with. It’s only fair to both of you if you’re honest, even if it’s messy.”
I let out a breath, my shoulders relaxing a little. “Thanks,JP.” As we’re taking Rambo back to his kennel, another thought crosses my mind, one I’ve been batting away since the party. “What do you think of Chase?”
There’s a beat, and then JP chuckles, giving me a knowing look. “Chase, huh?”
I feel heat creep up my neck. “What?”
“You want me to warn you away from him?”
“I don’t know what I want to hear,” I admit. “Just the truth, I guess.”
JP thinks for a moment. “Chase is a good kid. He’s got his guard up a lot, but he’s loyal. Honest too. And he’ll watch out for the people he cares about.”
“He will?”
“Always. That’s the thing with people like him. When they let someone in, it means something.” JP offers another smile. Soft, almost fatherly. “I think he’s worth getting to know.”
I try to keep my face neutral, but my relief must show because he winks at me.
“Just don’t break his heart, okay? I don’t need two sulking boys around here.”
thirty-five
Happy Holidays, Gabrielle
I spend most of December laboring over my final photography project. I’m not looking forward to the end of the semester. I wish I could take photography in the new year too, but at least I’ll have a mixed media art class that sounds fun.
On Christmas Eve morning, I drive to Starling to exchange gifts with Mar, which we’re doing today because she’ll be on vacation with family for the entire holiday break.
Sitting across from each other in a booth at the diner, Mar and I burst out laughing when we realize we got each other the exact same gift: a framed photograph.
“Great minds think alike, I guess,” she says with a snort.
I admire the photo she framed for me. I remember her taking it in the fall when the leaves were blazing red.
“I love it,” I tell her.
“Same,” she says, holding up mine.
