“If Maggie and Sarah had been on speaking terms, maybeSarah would’ve confided in her about Gabriel. Maybe we could’ve helped her.”
“It’s not your fault,” I repeat.
He presses his lips together but doesn’t say anything. I suspect he doesn’t believe me.
“I have a lot of guilt too,” I confess. “My mom was trying to leave that night. And I held her up. I kept getting in her way when she was packing. Plus, he was a monster and I never noticed—”
“You were a kid. You did nothing wrong.”
I don’t believe him either. I’ve tried telling myself that same thing, over and over again. Somehow it never sinks in. I have a feeling that even now that he’s gone, it never will.
When we finally stop walking, we’re deep in the woods, shaded in a smaller clearing where the sunlight barely filters through the canopy. I think Dad’s studio is near here. The small cabin where he drew his victims. Where he killed them. According to the police reports Zed posted onFree the Sparrows, only a few drops of blood were found on the wooden slatted floor. Dad’s cleanup job had been near pristine.
I stare at the ground, at the tangled roots and patches of moss.
“He killed Everett’s mom,” I say, my voice breaking the silence.
Dan rests his hand on the trunk of a nearby tree. He doesn’t respond right away, but I see the tension in his shoulders.
“Did you know her?” I ask him. “Leah Devereaux?”
“Yes. Of course. It’s a small town.”
“Why didn’t she go by Leah James?”
His lips quirk. “Because she was a stubborn, independentwoman who didn’t ‘need a man,’ ” he says, his tone implying he’s quoting Leah directly. “Actually, for as long as I knew her, she never even wanted to get married. I think JP sweet-talked her into it.”
“How do you know all this?”
He hesitates before offering a small shrug. “Leah and I were high school sweethearts.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “You were?”
“Dated for a couple years. I thought we’d end up together, but she dumped me when she met JP. He transferred to Crockett junior year. I was the kid who drank too much and raised hell in town. He was the perfect quarterback who took her out on real dates. Guess he was the better choice.” Dan laughs, but there’s not much humor in it.
I’m still trying to process this new information. “I didn’t know that.”
“No reason you would. It was a long time ago. After Leah and I broke up, I started dating Maggie. We were all friends for a while. JP, Leah, Maggie, and me. But after a few years, we drifted apart. People move on, I guess.”
I try to imagine it, the four of them intertwined in this strange web I never knew existed. Then I think of Everett, of the connection we never even knew we had.
I stare at my combat boots, and my thoughts swirl, confused and angry. Everett. His mother. My father.
I turn to Dan, the words bubbling over before I can stop them. “How could you let me date him?” My voice cracks, and I don’t even try to hide the hurt. “You knew. You and Maggieknewmy dad killed his mom, and you still let me get close to Everett. Why?”
He winces. “Ryan, I didn’t—”
“You didn’t what? Think it was important? Think I deserved to know? Or Everett?”
Dan rubs the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know. You two seemed to really like each other. And what happened between your father and Everett’s mother, that’s got nothing to do with you, kid. You’re not responsible for it.”
I stare at him, incredulous. “That’s, like, the most rose-colored bullshit I’ve ever heard. You truly believe this is just going to be nothing if Everett finds out? You think he’s going to be fine knowing I’m the daughter of the man who killed his mother?”
“There’s no reason for him to ever know—”
“ButIknow!Iknow where I come from.” I suck in a calming breath.
Dan doesn’t back down. “You don’t have to pay for your father’s mistakes, Ryan. Those arehisactions. You deserve a chance to live your own life, not one defined by his crimes.”
