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She broke in, almost sharply, without thinking through her words. "I'm not charging for the dino. Or for anything else one of your friends might want." She tried to temper her tone with a smile, adding, "They were all so welcoming. So nice."
"That's the Mavericks for you." Though he seemed a little taken aback by her strong reaction to the idea of putting a price on her work, his voice was gentle. "I could tell they loved you."
"I know your childhood was really hard, but the family you created as an adult is amazing. You're very lucky, Sebastian."
"Luckier than I ever thought I'd be." With the softening of his voice and the way he looked so deeply into her eyes, it felt as if he was saying how lucky he'd been to find her too. "Speaking of family, after you told me your mom finally got a spot at the new facility, I looked at the website and made a few calls. You've said the place will be great for her, and from everything I've seen and everyone I've spoken to, I think you're right. But the start-up cost and the monthly fees are astronomical."
She'd given him the good news about her mother's move-in date during one of their calls while he was in England. She'd chosen that moment so he wouldn't see how green at the gills she'd turned at the thought of paying those monthly bills. Making love with him tonight had been so good, and she'd felt so loose, so free and happy, but between talk of all her possible future commissions and the money for her mother's care, her stomach was quickly knotting around the chocolate, strawberries, and champagne.
She struggled to keep her voice even. "Between your commission and the rams, I've already earned enough to take care of it."
But now that he knew exactly how much those monthly fees were, he was easily able to counter her statement. "That will last a year at most."
She pulled the robe more tightly around herself, as though somehow she was too naked, too exposed. She hated feeling that way with him, after what they'd shared only minutes before. "You just mentioned how the commissions are falling into my lap. I'll work harder. Longer hours. I'll sell everything in my yard. Somehow I'll make it work."
"Charlie." He stroked her cheek. "Let me help you. Please."
She wanted to fall into his touch, to nuzzle against his hand. Instead, she leaned forward to set her champagne on the trolley. "I know you want to help. And that's great. But I can't take anything else from you."
"Why?"
"I told you before that you've already done so much, and nothing has changed."
"How can you say nothing has changed? Everything has changed."
Both her brain and her heart stopped working for a long moment that stretched on and on, the knots in her stomach so tight they felt as though they were cutting her in two. "Because we had sex?"
"We didn't just have sex, damn it. We made love."
It was what she'd thought. What she'd felt. But now it was like a knife slicing her up from the inside, where she was least prepared for it. "So why are you using that to justify giving me more money?"
"That isn't what I'm trying to do." His frustration--and hers--felt like living things in the room, battling against each other. "I'm just concerned that you're killing yourself trying to pay for all your mother's needs." He tilted up her chin with his fingertips to force her to look at him. He was so beautiful. So perfect. So rich. "It's the same damn thing that happened with the pearl dress. I don't see why you can't accept that I have money and that nothing would make me happier than to spend it on you and your mother."
"Because everyone here tonight probably thinks I'm just another one of the billionaire's acquisitions, handpicked to live on his property and share the bed in his hotel suite!" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them.
"No." Sebastian's response was stone hard. And utterly unyielding. "Everyone here tonight thinks you're a brilliant artist. Everyone here tonight thinks I'm a lucky son of a bitch for even getting to be near you. The only person who could possibly think you're nothing but a billionaire's toy is you. If you think I'd pay you for what we did tonight, that the two things even have anything to do with each other, then you've lost your freaking mind. We're a hell of a lot more than that, Charlie." The look on his face wasn't mere pain. It was devastation. "I thought you felt the same way."
His words hit her like a heavy rock right to her belly. With a hard jolt of pain. One that either knocked you down...or woke you up.
She swallowed hard, as though that same rock were being shoved down her throat. Her eyes had already filled with tears as she whispered, "I'm sorry."
So much had changed so fast. In the wake of their incredible lovemaking, her walls had come down...and she'd been unable to stop herself from freaking out over just about every single thing. The pressure from all those possible future commissions so that she'd have money to pay for her mother's care beyond the first year. Wondering if she could actually fit into his glittering world--and if living in it would ever get easier. Worrying that Sebastian preferred the dolled-up version of her over the woman in boots and jeans. But she hadn't meant to take out her fears on him, or to spin his very kind offer into something dark and twisted.
"I'm not usually this emotional. At least," she said with a shaky little laugh, "I can usually control it better."
He slid his hands down her arms, gathered her fingers in his, and pulled her close to rest his forehead against hers. "I've never felt like this either. You've become the most important person in the world to me, Charlie. I never want to hurt you."
"I know you don't." Her voice, her body--everything--felt soft and rubbery with her tears. "And I promise you that I didn't think the dress was payment for anything. I just couldn't see spending that kind of money on clothes. Not when I could pay for six months at Magnolia Gardens for that amount."
"I'm sorry too, Charlie. I should have understood about the dress. But when it comes to your mom?" He shook his head. "I just want to see her as comfortable as she can be, and in a good place, without either of you having to worry over how long you can keep it up, or that she'll have to go back to Shady Lane."
He was so sweet that she felt another trickle of tears down her face. He kissed them away even as she beat herself up for calling his generosity into question. All because she was scared. About pretty much everything.
She cupped his cheek in her palm. "In a few months, if I have trouble making payments, I will come to you, I promise."
"Thank you." He wrapped his arms around her as if she'd just given him a gift simply by agreeing to accept his help if she ever needed it.
She pressed her mouth against his, stroking the rippling muscles of his chest. She could fix this. She needed to fix it, needed to show him how sorry she was.
