14
The need to see Raaevik pulled at her like a fishhook caught somewhere behind her ribs.
Emily sat on the edge of the sofa, spine straight, hands folded in her lap like a good little prisoner.Raaevik was on the other side of the door, standing out in the corridor...she didn't need to see him to know it.Her body tracked him like a compass needle finding north.Three meters of metal and whatever else, and she could still feel the rhythm of his breathing like it was her own.
Her jaw ached from clenching it as she stared at the tapestry on the far wall.Some Latharian star chart she couldn't read.
Don't think about him.Don't.
The door chime almost made her jump out of her skin.
"Enter," she called, smoothing the blue silk of her gown across her thighs.
Lucy slipped through the gap before the panel had fully opened, her gaze darting around the suite like a hunted animal.The standard gray jumpsuit hung loose on her frame—she'd definitely lost weight since they'd last met.Stress eating in reverse.
"Hey."Her voice was pitched low, barely above a whisper."I can't stay long.I'm supposed to be in a cultural orientation meeting...You know, one of those bullshit sessions about how to attract a match when they ship me off to the colonies."
“Shit.Are they doing that?”Emily was off the couch in a heartbeat, taking the other woman's hands.Her fingers were cold, with a slight tremor in them."Are you okay?You look?—"
"Scared."Lucy squeezed hard, then dropped her grip."I'm fucking terrified, actually.They might do, yeah.I haven’t matched yet, and it’s been three cycles.”
Shoving a hand through her hair, she turned in a circle then looked at Emily again.“But I'm more scared for you."
"Why?What's happened?"
Lucy stepped closer.Close enough that she could see the shadows in her eyes, the chapped skin on her lips.
"The network," she breathed, barely moving her lips."They're moving up the timeline.The ship leaves tonight.Maybe early tomorrow at the latest."
Emily's stomach lurched.
The burner comm shoved to the back of the second drawer under more silk underwear than she could wear in a lifetime.
"Lucy, I can't."The words scraped out past her tight throat."I have to stay."
"Do you?"Lucy's blue eyes speared her.They were too bright, too intense."Because you look fucking miserable, Em."
"It's complicated."
"It's really not."Lucy gestured at the gilt furniture, the viewport full of stars."This is just slavery with better fucking PR.”
Emily turned away, wrapping her arms around herself.
"I have responsibilities," she said.Her voice sounded thin even to her own ears."People who would get hurt if I left."
If she vanished, Raaevik would be blamed.The Emperor's guard, losing the Emperor's mate?Daaynal might be decent under all the battle honors and the ice-cold stare, but he was still an emperor.Failure had consequences—the lethal kind.
But if she stayed...
She would have to see Raaevik.Every day, every ceremony, every public appearance.
She shut that thought down hard.
"The window's closing, Em.”Lucy grabbed her hands again."If you don't go now, you never will."
"Tonight's too soon.I'm not?—"
"You'll never be ready to jump off a cliff."Lucy shook her head."You just have to close your eyes and do it."
