“Be careful about rushing yourself. You just finished your first day and—holy shit! There’smore?”
Carlos has turned the corner into the gravel drive. He’s loaded up with twice the stack April carries. He peeks around the pile, eyebrows raised as if to saydon’t ask me how I got roped into this.
April tosses her ponytail over her shoulder. “Social Studies and Science. Come, Carlos.”
He follows obediently into the apartment. Behind me, several of the guys bust up with laughter.
“Ah, young love,” says Wendell and next to him, one of the DomBert brothers swoons dramatically.
I throw them a scowl. “That isnotwhat is going on.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. Carlos is a coward,” says James, refilling his basket with another scoop of grain. “No reason to think he’ll ever make a move.”
Sid even joins in. “She could do a lot worse.”
“It’s not personal. She just isn’t interested.”
“She told you that?” Sid’s icy blue eyes flick up to meet mine. I should be firing back something about how we’re sisters. She doesn’t have to say she isn’t interested becauseI cantell. But it’s also the type of thing I know he’ll push against. How am I supposed to really know, when April hasn’t had the chance to live around kids her own age before? I have no clue what she’s attracted to, other than guys who once played Spider-Man. Real life attraction doesn’t play out the same way it does in magazine photos.
Luckily, I’m saved having to answer by Carlos running back towards us. I resist pointing at him and sayingsee? He didn’t bother staying with her! Nothing going on.
“We stopped by the mailbox and—” he starts, but Sid is already standing, hand outstretched.
“It came?” asks Sid.
“Yeah.” Carlos passes him a pile that includes the newspaper and another paper, folded over and sealed with wax.
Sid rips the seal open and spends a couple seconds reading it silently. Both James and Silas are on their feet next to him. “Holy shit, it’s official.”
“Hell yes!” Silas, usually the group’s sullen, silent shadow, thumps Sid on the back. The younger guys jump up, asking to see the letter too. I’m on the verge of joining in when Carlos side-steps the group to get to me.
“And this one has your name on it.” He passes me another letter.
“Really? Oh!” The wax seal has a maple leaf imprint in the centre and around it, the wordsGovernment of Salt Spring. It brings a smile to my face. Someone has gone to the trouble of making an official seal, probably because it’s easier to get beeswax now than it is to manufacture paper envelopes like people used in the pre-Quake days.
Government of Salt Spring. Heh. That long, stupid-ass name the government officials usually use must not fit.
I dart away, grateful now for the commotion around Sid, so that I don’t have any attention on me. My first letter! I’m not sure what I’m expecting. Something from April’sschool? Tom Sullivan being his obnoxious self, but now by post? I open it carefully, not wanting to wreck the seal.
Dear Ms. Hollins,
Thank you for visiting the Ministry of Public Safety and Homeland Security. It is with deepest regrets that I must inform you that your application to the border guard has been unsuccessful. While we welcome applications from all members of Salt Spring Island’s community, the presence of two demerits on your sanctuary papers unfortunately means—
I go back to the beginning and reread it, not quite believing the words. He can’t be serious. Sid said sanctuary seekers have a legal right to employment and there was a court case about it. Except… he didn’t say anything about demerits. I must be the exception. I am so horrible, Salt Spring doesn’t even want me to die for them in their border guard.
Letters, I realize now, are the coward’s tool. That weaselly bastard. At least Tom Sullivan has the guts to tell me he hates me to my face.
Blood pumps in my ears as I read the rest of it.
Should you resolve your file with the Department of Immigration to a state in which you have no demerits, we would welcome your reapplication—
I don’t have any idea how to do that. Besides which, there isn’t time. April is running out of insulin and this border guard idea was the only one I had that provided any hope of supporting us. I’m angry—at this shitty government, but also at myself. Why the hell did I think they would trust me? Of course they weren’t going to give me a gun. If I were them, I wouldn’t give me a gun either.
For the first time, I think I understand Tom’s point.Some people aren’t made for civilization.That was the gist of what he said. I am too dangerous and untrustworthy for this colony to take a chance on. The only way I can save April is by giving her up.
The thought makes me physically ill. I stumble away from the people chattering happily behind me. Whatever news Sid got, it’s good. Isn’t he lucky? No one is asking him to give up his sister.
At least they don’t notice me sneaking away. Once I reach the open road, I start running. The direction doesn’t matter. All I can hope is that the slap of my feet will drown out my thrashing heart.
