I could have the thing I want. I don’thaveto be alone.
But as I have this revelation over scrambled eggs, I struggle to put it into words. At one point, he catches me staring. I don’t look away, silently begging that he will say something and provide us with a way forward. I get a half-hearted smile before he returns to his food—and I realize that he’s never going to broach the subject first. I suppose it makes sense. I’m the one who got hurt, so he’s leaving the future of our relationship up to me.
That night, as April snores next to me, I resolve that I will say something. TNS already took so much from me; I can’t let them take away the one friend I’ve made on Salt Spring. The other boys are decent enough company, but they aren’thim.
He leaves for town before I wake up, so I spend the day psyching myself up for when he comes home. I want to ask him for a private conversation by the duck pond, though as storm clouds roll in, I worry we won’t get our chance. Maybe we can talk in the apartment? Though where? He hasn’t got a lick of furniture in the main areas and April will be using our room to study. And going into his room is out of the question, because… actually, I don’t know why, but it is. I am not going in there.
I’m so fixated on location, I’m woefully unprepared when he comes rocketing through the kitchen door that evening. Carlos has been showing me how to caramelize onions, and I nearly drop the spoon at the sight of Sid. Hisusually neat hair is askew from a mix of wind and rain, his muscular chest heaving with each quick, agitated breath.
“Carlos, get out of here,” he barks.
“What?” Carlos turns around, rightly confused. “We’re making dinner.”
“It can wait. Tom Sullivan’s here.”
“Shit!” I tamp down the stove. “Why?”
“Wants to check in. He came to my booth downtown to ask about you. And since you’re his sanctuary case, legally he’s allowed to show up if he thinks there’s a problem.”
“Anddoeshe think there’s a problem?”
Sid flaps his arms weakly. “I don’t know. When he asked if he could come by, I didn’t dare say no.”
“Why not?”
“Because the judiciary sent him our marriage certificate. He knows.”
“Oh,shit. Carlos, get out of here.” My hands are shaking as I towel them off. “How long until—”
“Maybe a minute? He’s right behind me,” says Sid. “James is stalling him.”
There isn’t time to change clothes or do anything else that might help make a good impression, so instead, I freeze while Sid gives Carlos a definitive nudge out the door.
I was already wishing that Sid and I were speaking before, but now it feels infinitely more urgent. We’ve got to put on a show to convince this man that we’re wildly in love, and Sid knows Tom better than I do. He should be giving me direction, but the way I crashed out over TNS means he’s in no state of mind to take the lead onanything. How’s he to know I won’t flip out if he tries to touch me again? This is all on me.
“We should greet him together. Show a united front.” I take his hand, which is clammy to the touch. Whether it’s from rain or nerves, I can’t guess. My own pulse thrums asI touch him for the first time since our wedding day. But even though I’m trembling, I have no desire to pull away, savouring the rough touch of his fingers interlocking with mine. “Come on. Let’s go save James from Tom.”
Once we get outside, it’s clearly the other way around. James is talking a mile a minute about some girl while Tom limps down our drive, scowling more with each second.
“Hi, Mr. Sullivan!” I call out, willing myself to sound confident.
“Ms. Hollins. Or is itMrs. Charlesnow?”
He’s got my papers. He knows damn well which it is. But I’ve got to sound open and unthreatened. “April didn’t want to change hers, and we figured I should probably match her.”
“Hmmm.” Tom stops to catch his breath, and I feel strangely guilty he has to walk so far before he can sit down. He looks like he’s in pain. Then again, he wouldn’t have had to walk anywhere at all if he hadn’t decided to haunt us today.
“How is your sister doing?” Tom takes another shaky step forward.
“Fine.”
“I saw she’s registered at high school. Is she enjoying it?”
“Sure.”
“Something beyond a single word answer would paint a fuller picture. But we can discuss that once we’re inside.”
“Wonderful seeing you, Mr. Sullivan!” James calls from behind us. “If you see Amy, give her a shout from me!”
