He drew a deep breath. ‘I can’t stay away from you. And I don’t want to.’
Asta’s heart, which had faded to a cold gray lump in her chest, glowed again like an ember under the bellows.
He stepped so close that she could feel the heat from his body, smell his summertime scent.
‘And you didn’t screw anything up “all on your own”. In case you’ve forgotten, I had a pretty big head start on you in the screwing-things-up department. Let’s say we’re even, yeah?’ A smile glimmered in his eyes.
Asta could hardly catch her breath.
‘You told me I couldn’t trust you yesterday, but that I could trust you today, right? So, I’m in. I trust you.’ He smiled for real now. ‘And I say it’s time we invent a new trick. We can call it the Side by Side.’ He reached for her neck, and his hand was cool.
She reached back for him, her thumb just in front of his ear, and returned his smile. ‘That’s a dumb name. What’s the trick?’
‘Looks simple, but it’s actually quite difficult. We stay right in line with each other, the whole way. Over all the obstacles, in the air, down the homestretch– we take it all together, side by side. Thus, the name. All the way over the finish line.’ He hesitated. ‘Not that either of us are allowed anywhere near a finish line anymore, but. . .’
He meant it as a joke, but hearing the words out loud filled Asta with sadness. Suddenly, she was acutely aware that her body hurt. Her brain hurt. Her heart hurt.
‘It’s over! I can’t believe I’ll never race again. Felix, what did I do?’
Felix reached into his pocket and drew something out. ‘I think you just graduated.’
Asta stared at him. ‘What?’
Felix opened his hand to reveal a small, flat rock, glittering with mica. A dry flake of lichen clung to it, pale with age. He handed it to her, his smile turning coy.
‘Took a little longer than expected, but it’s graduation day.’
Tracing the rock with her finger, Asta remembered the day she had given it to Felix. How full of dreams she had been then, and all of them bringing her here. What now? Before them lay a future with no edges, no guideposts, no courses to follow. All she knew was that she would go into it with him. Side by side.
Felix looked at her hopefully. ‘I think you said you would kiss me now.’
She reached for him, kissing him softly, and he took her in his arms. He kissed her back with such force that they tumbled on to the bed. He tasted like the springtime woods– fragrant ferns and small white blossoms beside a running stream. He kissed her, and his lips were soft and sweet as ripened fruit. He kissed her, and she was filled with fire. He kissed her, and she flew.
Over his shoulder, a glittering illusion crept across the ceiling. It was the mountain behind his parents’ house where they had seen the wild dragons. Trees and grasses sprang from the earth and filled in the scene. As they undressed each other, its light playing on their bare skin, a little path emerged that wound its way up and out of sight between the trees.
The Silverscale Grand Prix: Day Seven
The Winners’ Podium
27
It was an hour before the award ceremony. Soon, Nat would stand on the podium and receive her ill-won title and the prize that went with it. Asta tried not to think about it.
She had found the suite empty when she returned. Gem had left a message for her: her parents wanted to get a hotel room for the night. He would be back after getting them settled in.
Asta felt bad that she had disappeared on them with no explanation, but for once, she could not bring herself to regret her decisions.
She went to collapse on to the bed and found that someone had taken her embroidered race suit out of the closet, folded it neatly, and placed it on her pillow. Her mother’s doing, surely. It was probably intended as a hint that she should start packing her things. Asta pulled out her suitcase and picked up the suit. Something crinkled, and she saw that there was a note sticking out from between the layers of folded fabric.
Asta,read her mother’s slanted handwriting,it makes me so proud to see you wearing this. I remember the hours I spent sewing it for you, the day you first started teaching us what it meant for you to follow your dreams and not ours. I am sorry that we have been such poor students, but we are learning. I know you don’t think much of charms, but I think it worked fairly well. A flame. For courage. Kisses, Mama.
Asta unfolded the suit and searched for the bright flame her mother had sewn into the cuff. She had always wondered why her mother had put it there– the only decoration on a plain canvas suit– and now she knew. It was a charm. A silly enchantment.
Asta couldn’t help but smile, imagining her mother ducking into the little charm shop in Medley to buy the enchanted thread, carrying it home in her purse, sewing it into the canvas suit, confident that it would make Asta brave. What a loving gift she had bestowed on her daughter. It was sweet that she thought it had worked.
Asta thought back. Maybe it had. Without it, she might have come running home after the first week at Pillar. Instead of collapsing in shame when Pikki came after her, she had stayed and fought. Was that courage? Maybe. Maybe not. Was it courage that had brought her to Hummer? Or was that her constant need to prove herself? Maybe it was both. Perhaps, for her, the two were not so far apart.
One thing she knew for sure, staring at the bright flame of her mother’s hand-sewn blessing: whatever power the charm held, it had run out. What she had done yesterday might have been daring, but it had nothing of courage in it. She had been afraid, and her fear had beaten her. She wished this wasn’t how she was leaving Silverscale.
