I pour myself into her. Emptying everything: the fear, the rage, the want, until nothing remains. Until I am hollowed out and filled only with her.
We collapse.
I slide down the wall, my legs giving out. We end up on the floor, our limbs tangled, our breath harsh and loud in the silence.
The hallway drops freezing cold now. The adrenaline fades, leaving the chill to creep back in. But where our skin touches, it’s an inferno.
She rests her forehead against mine, her body still trembling, the aftershocks moving through her in waves that press against my chest.
I wait until her breathing evens out. Until the tremor leaves her limbs. Until the danger recedes enough that I can think again.
Only then do I speak.
“You disobeyed a direct order.”
Her eyelids flutter open, hazy and warm. She nods once, slowly. No argument or bravado left.
“I told you to go to the safe room. That wasn’t optional. That wasn’t a suggestion.”
“I know.”
“You don’t get to decide when you’re brave or when you’re useful. When I give an order like that, I’ve already done the math, and you stepping out of position puts both of us at risk.”
Silence stretches between us. She absorbs it. She doesn’t apologize, knowing an apology won’t fix the tactical error.
I shift just enough to make sure she rests securely, wrapped in my coat, shielded from the cold floor. Protection first. Always. Even when I want to shake her in anger.
“This is how this works.” My voice holds level and final. “As long as you are under my protection, your safety isn’t negotiable.I don’t debate it. I don’t weigh feelings against it. I decide. And you follow.”
I wait until I know she listens. I wait until her gaze clears.
“The next breach, real or false, you move immediately. Safe room. Lock it. You stay there until I come for you. No matter what you hear. No matter how long it takes. Even if you hear gunshots. Even if you hear me dying.”
She swallows. Her throat works.
“And if I don’t.”
I hold her gaze under my own weight. I let her see the line she stands on, the edge of the cliff.
“Then I still protect you, because that’s my job.” I hold the pause deliberately. “But whatever this is between us ends. Completely. No second chances or explanations. You disobey me, and this becomes strictly professional. Forever.”
That lands.
Her breathing pauses, not out of fear but out of understanding. The stakes register. My protection stays tied to my control, and if she breaks the control, she breaks the man.
She nods once. Sharp. Certain.
“I understand.”
“Good. Because this is no game to me, and if you want both, my protection and whatever’s burning between us, your obedience is the cost.”
I hold her there until the tension drains out of her shoulders from knowing exactly where the line is.
Only then do I settle in to keep watch. Discipline isn’t about punishment. It’s about survival, and if she stays alive, she has to follow my orders.
Eventually, she drifts off. The adrenaline crash takes her. She sleeps right there in my arms, trusting me to keep watch. Trusting the monster to keep the other monsters away.
I don’t sleep.
