I get dressed, grab my keys, and run out of there.
I want to call Jett, but I don’t. In fact, I need time to process everything myself. Mom needs me now.
It’s late afternoon by the time I arrive atProvidence Seaside Hospital. As soon as I step inside, I see my grandparents in the waiting area.
When they see me, they stand, and we all hug, holding each other for a long time.
“How is she?” I ask when we pull away.
“She’s getting another round of scans, and we were told to wait out here. The first scans were for her concussion. Now they want to check the left hemisphere from when she first injured herself years ago.”
I sit down, and my grandparents follow my lead. “Have you seen her yet? Tell me everything that happened.”
“Yes, we’ve seen her. She’s madder than a hornet, but who can blame her after everything she’s been through?” Grandma says.
Granddad grabs her hand. “We didn’t even know she had seized and fallen. She was supposed to come to the kitchen for breakfast…”
“I found her on the floor, lying facedown… God, I thought… I thought….” Grandma grabs a tissue from the box sitting on the table and wipes her eyes. “I don’t know how long she was lying like that. Seizures don’t last that long, so I know she hurt herself again.”
“Your grandmother called for me, and we lifted her onto the bed. She had some bleeding from her temple. We think as she went down, she hit her head on the corner of her dresser.”
I rest my elbows on my knees and rub my face. “Jesus. Poor Mom. Do they know if she’ll have more brain damage or…”
Granddad shakes his head. “We don’t know. They want the swelling to go down a bit before they do more scans to be sure.”
I’m not sure what I’d do if I lost her. She’s everything to me. She chose to keep me after getting pregnant, and even with a disability and struggling to speak, she’s been an amazing mother. She stepped up to the plate and did what she had to. My mom’s the one who really taught me determination and how to push myself to do what’s best, even when it’s hard. Yes, she had a support system, which definitely helped, but I know even if she didn’t, she wouldn’t have done anything differently.
It took over an hour before we were allowed back into her room. My grandparents stayed behind, allowing me to be alone with her.
When I step inside, she’s resting, her eyes closed. Seeing a bandage on the injured area tugs at my heart. It’s something I haven’t seen since I was a young teen. That’s how long it’s been since she had a seizure.
I sit on the edge of the bed and hold her hand. Her eyes flutter open and land on my face. As soon as she sees me, her face crumples, and she starts crying.
Fuck.
My eyes start watering, too. Between this and Jett, I’m emotionally wrung out.
She reaches for me, and I lean forward to hug her as she cries. You canfeelhow tired she is. Not from exhaustion, but frustration.
“Hey, mamasita.”
“Sssorry…” she says.
I pull away and brush back her hair from her face. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“I-I-I ssssstopped… t-taking it.”
“Your anti-seizure meds?”
She nods, her wide, red-rimmed eyes filled with guilt. “Thought I-I… www-was okay.”
“We all thought you were okay, too. I’m just so glad you’re fine. Sort of.”
The tears spill freely down her face as I hold her hand again. “I-I… j-just wwwwant t-to… b-be normal, W-Wes. I’m… t-t-t-tired. I…Ugh!” She grabs her phone, types out the words in a text, and sends it to me.
Mom:I want to be normal. I want to fall in love. Get married. I hate that I always have to worry about my brain.
Mom:I love Mom and Dad so much, but I want a home of my own. Space of my own.
