I'm braced.
I'm also home.
Both things sit in my chest at the same time. Side by side. Neither one canceling the other one out.
The light comes up over the east pasture.
A figure crosses the gravel from the direction of Thunder's cabin. Big shoulders. Black hat low over his eyes. No cut at this hour. White t-shirt, cut, jeans and a coffee cup in his hand.
Thunder.
He comes up the porch steps the way an older brother comes up steps when he knows somebody has been up half the night. Slow. Quiet. He sits in the chair next to mine without asking.
He takes a long sip of his coffee. The east pasture goes from pink to gold. "Cross."
"Thunder."
We drink in the rising light.
After a minute he tips his head back against the chair. "You sleep?"
"Not much."
"Didn't think so. I was up at four. Mama got Nash and Raine up at six askin' for biscuits. Boy slept like he was hibernatin', she said."
I let Nash spend the night over at Mama Lou's last night. With everything happening, it felt safer to have him away from here. Miller and Ford are watching over her house, so they're being guarded.
The smile pulls at the corner of my mouth before I can stop it. "He sleeps best at her house."
Thunder huffs once into his coffee. "Mama Lou's house has somethin'. I was convinced it had healin' properties when I was a kid."
A laugh comes up out of me. The first one of the morning.
He lets the laugh sit on the porch between us for a moment.
Then his voice shifts—lower, more deliberate. "Phantom and Marlena pullin' out of College Station at first light. They'll be here by suppertime."
"Yeah. Rogue told me."
"Holt and Roan come in this afternoon. Holt comin' down from Abilene, Roan ridin' up from Lubbock."
"Yeah."
He's quiet for a long stretch. His thumb moves along the rim of his coffee cup. "How you doin', Cross? Be honest. I been watchin' you for a week. You ain't sayin' as much as you ought to."
I look at the bottom of my cup. The coffee has gone fully cold. I give him the real one. "I'm scared, Thunder. And I'm not goin' anywhere."
He nods once. Slow. He doesn't try to make me feel better about either of those things. "Anyone would be."
He sets his coffee cup down on the porch boards between his boots. His voice goes quieter. "Rogue is the best man I know. He's been alone a long time. He don't know how to do half of what's about to happen to him, but he's gonna figure it out. You hold on to him."
The back of my throat aches.
"He'll hold on to you twice as hard."
I press my mug against my chest because my hands need somewhere to be. "I… I think I'm falling in love with him, Thunder. I don't ever want to lose him. He's great to me and to Nash."
"Good." He picks his cup back up, stands, and drains it. Tips his hat at me. "You need anything today, Cross—anything at all—you come find me. You hear?"
