Dr. Renner stepped back, her expression warm but there was concern in her eyes. Cece’s stomach dipped. She knew that expression. Too well. “I’m feeling a small fullness near your thyroid. It could be something very simple like a nodule, a little inflammation, or maybe a cyst. These are extremely common in women over fifty.”
The dip in Cece’s stomach turned into a full-on, roller-coaster plunge. She gripped the sides of the exam table, the paper crinkling under her fingers. “Is it serious?”
“It’s too early to answer that,” Dr. Renner said softly. “Which is why I’d like to run a thyroid panel and get an ultrasound. Most thyroid nodules are benign. Truly. And your energy levels are good, which is reassuring.”
“But the weight loss…” Cece murmured, connecting dots she suddenly wished she hadn’t. Problem was, she knew way too much about cancer to stop her mind from going to the darkest of scenarios.
“The weight loss might be completely unrelated,” Dr. Renner said. “It might be a very healthy result of the lifestyle changes you’ve made.” She offered a comforting smile. “You’re doing really well, Cecelia. This really is just about being thorough. Especially with your history.”
Cece nodded, but a familiar coldness crept faintly along her spine. The memory of another exam room and another unexpected test that had changed everything.
She forced herself to breathe. She told herself this wasn’t that. This was different.
Shewas different. Stronger. Smarter. Healthier.
The dread was the same, though. The sinking feeling. The sense that this was something she couldn’t control. None of that had changed.
She did not want to go through all of that again.
Dr. Renner rested a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Let’s run the tests and go from there, all right?”
“All right,” Cece whispered, her earlier excitement gone. It had slipped through her fingers like sand.
When the doctor left the room to place the orders, Cece stared at her reflection in the metal panel of the supply cabinet. She was looking at the same woman she had this morning, but now she was carrying a weight she hadn’t planned for.
Please,she thought,let this be nothing.
She took a breath and lifted her chin. She would not let this defeat her. Whatever it was, she’d face it. She’d faced worse.
Some long minutes later, Cece left the office with new appointments to keep. She slid into her car and closed the door gently, as though any loud sound might shatter the fragile calm she was holding together by threads. The quiet of the enclosed space wrapped around her, and for a moment she just sat there, hands gripping the steering wheel, forehead resting against it.
She tried a deep breath. It shuddered as she pulled air in. She tried another. Worse. Her eyes started to sting and her throat felt tight. Her heart thudded unevenly and she thought she might faint. Or throw up.
Get it together,she told herself.It’s probably nothing. These are just tests. Just ruling things out.But she’d heard those words before. Walked this path of uncertainty before. She hated that familiar dread creeping into her bones.
She needed to talk to someone.
But not Natalie, no way. Natalie had enough happening in her life right now with the divorce and Tyler’s emotions and trying to keep her life together. Cece wouldn’t add to that weight.
Besides that, telling Natalie about this would mean telling her about the cancer Cece had already survived. Nat didn’t need that. And it was a lot for Cece to relive.
The Queen Bees didn’t need this either. They all had their own things going on. She’d tell them later, when she’d calmed down.
So there was only one person she could call.
Her hands trembled as she tapped Joe’s name on her list of contacts.
He picked up on the first ring. “Morning, sunshine.”
The gentle warmth in his voice undid her. Completely. Utterly. Her breath caught and shattered into a sob before she could stop it.
“Cece?” His tone shifted instantly, worried, protective, but still calm and strong. “Hey, what’s wrong? Is it Natalie? I promise I’m on top of things.”
She pressed her hand over her mouth, but the tears came anyway, hot and overwhelming. “I—I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She shouldn’t have called. This was too much to put on him.
“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” Joe said, a little more urgently. “Talk to me. Areyouhurt? Were you in an accident? Where are you?”
“I’m in my car,” she managed between breaths. “I just—I just got out of my physical and the doctor—she—” Her voice cracked. She swallowed. “She found something in my neck.”
