Irena’s trust meant everything to me, and the thought that I did not have it right now was painful. It was not something I shook off easily, as I had before I believed I’d won her over. Perhaps she was feeling as vulnerable and exposed as I did right now. When she shifted on her bare feet, the hand I did not hold lifted to press against her chest, over the rapid beating of her heart.
“I think you truly mean that,” she said at last. “But I also think you can’t resist that diamond, if it’s even there. Can you?” She was correct. Once we went into that building, passing so close to where the Verana Diamond was sealed in a vault, I would feel powerless to resist attempting to steal it. It was the one that had gotten away, and it wasn’t as though this particular Asrai noble would miss the money it had cost to buy the thing.
Cocking my head to the side, I listened to the forest, to the distant tread of the guards patrolling. I listened to the pattern ofher heartbeat, calmer now, and the rise and fall of her breathing. So many clues to filter through. She was calmer, her scent easing into something more resigned but less distrustful. No fear, information I filed away with relief.
“That is true,” I admitted, and rather than give into the impulse to grin and make light of this, I focused on what it would take to convince her. “This diamond is one I came close to stealing before; it stings that it slipped through my grasp. Yet even so, I’d give it up, and a million like it, if that meant keeping you safe. I…” My words dried in my throat, and I fought for the right ones, ones that would convince her. Words that would describe the massive things I’d felt for her since the moment she’d first visited my cell on theVidu.
“It’s your white whale, got it,” Irena said, which was probably a human idiom I wasn’t familiar with. I didn’t question it, but nodded firmly. “I thought…” She hesitated, but shuffled just a little closer, and I took that to mean I’d convinced her. I rose slowly, careful not to spook her, and drew her into my arms. She was cold, and I became aware of how thin the dress she wore really was. Perfect for the muggy heat of theVidu,but not at all adequate for this forest and the approaching dusk.
“You thought that if I planned to steal the diamond, what other things did I hide from you?” I frowned, furious at myself for not realizing that she needed to hear these things out loud. What reason had anyone given her to trust them? None. We had only met days ago, and humans did not mate for life, at least not back on her world. I could not expect her to simply trust that the bond I said was there was real. If I were in her shoes, or lack thereof, I wouldn’t believe it so easily either. In fact, it was a miracle she’d trusted me as much as she had.
She pressed her forehead to my chest and did not answer, but I knew I was right. That was exactly what she’d been thinking. For one horrible moment, when I’d halted at the mansion’s border, she’d believed I would betray her or perhaps discard her as a tool—used and no longer required. It was exactly how I’d felt so many times throughout my life, and I understood exactly where she was coming from.
Dimon, and the fact I’d used my skills as a thief, made him just one in a long line of people who’d done the same. Starting with my mother, with her choice to “donate” to the Suleantran Order on Sune for the chance to conceive a child with true shifter genes. Thrown out when I did not possess the gift; discarded for detracting rather than enhancing her status. I knew exactly how she’d felt, and how could I blame her when I’d demanded she trust me yet offered her no piece of myself in return?
With a hoarse voice, I began speaking into the crown of her head. Her body tucked close for warmth, and I hoped it was an offer to let her in. “I shall tell you what I’ve never told anyone before,” I said. “The story of my birth and past, which I’ve fought to hide since the moment I was old enough to understand what it meant.”
She lifted her head, and already I could tell she believed in me again. Her trust restored, and empathy dancing in the soft brown of her eyes. She did not require me to tell her this story, and that made me more determined to tell it anyway. It felt good, I discovered, to uncork that bottle and let it out—to share the weight of it with another and know they would not use the knowledge to harm me.
“I am Sune, as I’ve told you, but…” I hesitated as I considered what she knew. Nothing, I decided. She probably did not judge the bizarre shifting abilities I had because she did not realize just how much of a freak that made me. “A Sune has three shapes by nature: the four-legged form with which I carried you today; my two-legged form, with which you’re very familiar.” I waggled my brow at her, and she grinned, warmth rising in her cheeks. “And a combination of the two I’ve yet to show you.” She nodded, confirming she understood.
“A normal Sune can take these forms and no others. A true Sune Shifter can take any form their heart desires. They are revered, anointed into the priesthood by the Suleantran Order, and extremely rare.” I paused as the image of my father came to mind, already older at the time of my conception and having lived much of his life as the high priest of the order. Dyantos was the most well-known true shifter in existence.
“What I do,” I said, finally coming to the point where I had to admit the freakish nature of my ability. “It isn’t supposed to be possible. I am neither a true shifter nor a true Sune.” I struggled to actually voice why, as if saying it out loud would finally destroy the image she had of me: the protector, the powerful shifter—not the runt and failure.
Irena was far smarter than the pirates had ever realized, and it was that quick mind I admired. Now she used it to leap to the obvious conclusion. “Your ability to become so small or so big? Is that what you mean? What makes you different?” She still held no judgment in her tone. Part of me believed there never would be, but the little boy I’d been—kicked out by his mother—was braced for the blow. Stars, why did I start this? It definitelydid not feel good now to share, but I was in the middle of it at this point; I might as well soldier on.
“Yes. My mother paid the Suleantran Order for the chance to have a child with Dyantos, the true shifter high priest. He is my father, but I have none of his abilities. In fact, when I first manifested my shifts, I could only manage the small four-legged shape you first saw… My mother, she threw me out when I became such an embarrassment to her. I’ve been on the streets ever since, until I figured out how to adjust my size and use it to my advantage.”
I fully expected the empathy in her eyes, even pity, and I was relieved when she looked fired-up instead. An angry frown lowering her dainty brow, her fists balling against my chest, and her mouth curling with adorable fury. “How dare she do that! You’re a person, not livestock. It’s not your fault you didn’t inherit the genes she was after. You’re clearly extremely special, and it’s her loss she didn’t see that!” Strange, how hearinghersay it made it feel like the truth, when years of scrapping and telling myself the exact same thing hadn’t made me believe it.
“I love you,” I said. It slipped out like it was just a comment about the weather, and it shocked me to the core. Once out, it resonated, though, putting a name to the intense things my Irena made me feel. I did not even fear rejection or worry that she couldn’t possibly feel the same.
Her mouth trembled, then tilted into a smile. “I bet that’s the one thing you’veneversaid before.” When I nodded, her smile turned radiant. “I’m honored, Flack. You make me feel things I didn’t think I’d find out here. It feels really terrifying to admit it, because it’s only been a few days. That’s not howhumans normally go about these things, you know?” Oh, I knew, believe me, I knew. I’d seen crewmember after crewmember fall aboard theVarakartoom, starting with the captain, when he abolished his sacred rule about mates on the ship. So many of those females that had captured the hearts of my brothers were human.
So I didn’t expect her to say it back; not yet.
Chapter 19
Irena
I felt terrible for not giving Flack the benefit of the doubt. It had been so easy to leap to the worst possible conclusion, but then he said things that made me certain again. He was the most intriguing, strongest man I’d ever met, and he was so freaking gorgeous, too. That’s why I kept doubting that he could really be that into me. I was just an average Earth girl, a college student who couldn’t decide on a major, and now I was scarred, too.
He told me he loved me after sharing his past with me, and I was still reeling from it. He said he loved me, and then he barely gave me a chance to respond. I didn’t even think it was because he wanted to avoid rejection. He had turned matter-of-fact in a way that had felt like business. Now I was clinging to his back again, and he was loping into the mansion’s compound with such confidence it felt like we were simply taking a stroll in the park. Not breaking and entering to steal a diamond and cover our escape.
Flack’s story about his past made me feel like he’d given me the key to his heart. It made me understand why he was the way he was: rakish, a pirate and a thief, a terrible flirt. I’d been cautious with my trust, but now I realized that he’d been the same. He had not given me all of him till then, hiding the insecurities that lay buried deep beneath the surface. I didn’t think I was good enough for a man as handsome as he was thanks to my scars. He thought he was imperfect, a failure, because he was not like the rest of his kind. We were both wrong.
“Flack,” I whispered, and the black-tipped ears pinned back, rotating toward me. I had his attention. Pressing my face to the fur at his neck, I sighed. “I love you too. I believe it now, the thing you said about mates. I feel it. We’re two halves of a whole.” He shuddered, his whole body wriggling beneath me, and then he tilted his head and glanced back at me with a look full of reprimand in his blue eyes. Not to reject my words, but as if he were saying: now? You’re telling me this now?
“You didn’t let me finish earlier. So yes, I’m telling you now. We shouldn’t embark on a diamond heist without knowing exactly where we stand.” His grin was wide and very foxy, as was the playful sparkle in his eyes. I didn’t know if all Sune were like this, but it felt like Flack was the perfect reflection of what a fox turned human would be like.
He ducked behind a building a moment later, still unseen by the patrol I knew was just around the corner. Then he shifted, turning smaller but not changing shape. The transformation halted when he was about the size of an actual fox, and then he led the way through a small window and into the building we’d been hiding beside. I had to climb through the very narrow opening after him while he leaped down. A squeeze, but no worse than many of the tight places I’d crawled into on theVidu.
My heart thrummed in my chest like a trapped bird. I’d never done a heist before, and it wasn’t going at all the way I expected. As small as Flack could get, I wasn’t sure I’d manage to keep up, and I definitely wasn’t as quiet as he was. He waited for me at every turn as we wove our way through some kind of underground complex. Sometimes he’d be bigger, sometimes smaller, but he was never far from my side.
I thought he might have to consult the map he’d had tattooed on his leg, but he never stopped for that. As it turned out, that was because he’d been going by scent alone. Once we reached the vault, that changed. He shifted to his human shape at last and pulled me into a room to get out of sight of the pair of guards stationed by the vault door. They were a creepy-looking pair, with faces painted to look like skulls. Or, considering they were red-skinned aliens with sharp claws, maybe it wasn’t paint at all. They had a few of them like that on theVidu, too, but I’d never gotten too close to one before.
Drawing me into his arms, Flack brought his mouth down on mine. Like my ill-timed love declaration, and the surprise springing of his on me, this kiss was hardly appropriate right now. With adrenaline surging through my veins and the fear of discovery looming huge at the back of my mind, it was hard not to cling to him. In fact, I clung very much to his wide shoulders, his warm skin deliciously bare and firm.
