Rutledge didn’t return in a few days.
Nor did he call. Shawn knew he could call, but the mere thought made him cringe. He didn’t want to seem clingy.
By Friday, Shawn didn’t know what to think. It didn’t help that Emily and Bee kept asking where Mr. Rutledge was—the question Shawn had no answer for.
Where was he?
There was a niggling thought at the back of Shawn’s mind that Rutledge was a commitment-phobe. Maybe he’d left because this thing between them freaked him out. If that was it, well, fuck him. Shawn would be damned if he let himself be the clingy one.
“What’s wrong with you, man?” Christian asked on Friday morning as they took their seats in Rutledge’s class.
“Nothing.”
“You look like shit.”
“Didn’t sleep well,” Shawn muttered, rubbing his eyes. It wasn’t a lie. “I’m just—”He cut himself off, noticing the professor who walked into the classroom.
It wasn’t Rutledge.
His heart sank.
Professor Newland took the seat behind Rutledge’s desk and smiled at the students.
“Good morning,” the woman said cheerfully. “I’ll be substituting for Professor Rutledge until further notice.”
A cheer went through the room.
Shawn lifted his hand.
“Yes, Mr. Wyatt?” Newland said.
“Where is Professor Rutledge?”
She raised her eyebrows. “I don’t think it’s your concern, but if you must know… Professor Rutledge is absent due to family circumstances.”
“Yeah,” the girl sitting on Shawn’s other side murmured. “I’ve seen in the news that he’s marrying some politician’s daughter.”
Shawn stared at her numbly.
Christian put a hand on his shoulder and said something, but he could barely hear it.
Married? Derek?
“It can’t be true,” he whispered, more to himself than to the girl. “He’s gay. And he’s…”Mine.
Except he wasn’t, was he? He didn’t have any right to be angry. They were nothing to each other.
“Are you okay?” Christian said, looking at him with a frown.
“I’m fine.”
“Shawn—”
“I’m fucking fine!” Shawn inhaled deeply and said, softer, “Sorry. I’m fine.”
* * *
Shawn returned home early, dismissed the babysitter, sat on the couch, and watched the twins play.
