Alasdair all but skipped out of my room. I was still smiling long after he’d gone.
* * *
By mid-day, everyone in and around the castle had heard the wonderful news, and happy chatter abounded. The sudden distraction allowed me time to roam the halls of the castle undisturbed. I spent most of the day working through my own thoughts.
I loved Jerry. I could no longer deny the truth of it to myself. I could also no longer deny that it didn’t matter at all. I could never have him. I would never see him again.
What then was I to do?
I would be married by the end of the year whether I liked it or not. Was Henry the man I wished to marry?
I didn’t love him—of that, I was almost certain. While I enjoyed his company well enough, my mind rarely thought of him when apart from him, and I didn’t feel the same innate terror at the thought of losing him that I still felt when I thought of Jerry.
I enjoyed his company and conversation. I found him charming and attractive and perplexing in a way that piqued my interest. I was sure I would never be bored in a life with him and that at least was something.
There was also the undeniable fact that my body enjoyed his company to the point of making me feel shameful from the desire he stirred in me. While Henry had always remained semi-polite and gentlemanly, if ever the day came when he asked me to do something entirely indecent, I wasn’t altogether sure I would deny him.
I think the possibility of such a request made the allure of him even greater. When in the presence of my brother or father or anyone else really, Henry was the epitome of all things proper.
When alone, he couldn’t keep his hands off me. I didn’t want him to.
A life with Henry would be filled with surprises, splendid conversation, and if our passion in kissing was any indication, spectacular love making. Most people would only ever dream of such a match.
Even if my heart would never love him in the way I wished it would, by the time the sun began to set over Conall Castle, I’d made my decision.
I would be a fool to send Henry away. I would tell him at dinner that I wished to be his bride.
* * *
“Do ye mean it, lass? Ye shall make me the happiest man alive.”
I decided to tell Henry just as everyone gathered for dinner so that he could make the announcement over our meal. He appeared excited by my decision but not the least bit surprised.
I don’t think he’d ever doubted that I would eventually say yes.
“Aye, I’ll marry ye. I thought ye could tell everyone tonight.”
“I doona wish to wait a moment. Let us tell them now.”
Grabbing my hand, Henry led me into the dining hall where Father, Alasdair, Elspeth, and Eoin sat gathered around the table. Mary stood in the corner of the room, waiting for us to sit so she could summon the other servants to bring out the food.
Henry didn’t waste a moment.
“Today is the happiest of days. Not only have we learned that a new child is to be welcomed into yer family, but I now know that I shall have the privilege of joining ye, as well. Morna has finally agreed to be my wife.”
The reaction around the room was far more mixed than I anticipated. While Eoin began clapping in ignorant delight and Father stood to hug us both, everyone else looked as if I’d just punched them.
I heard Mary drop something in the back of the room. Elspeth glanced down at the table as if to hide her expression, and Alasdair’s face gave nothing away. My brother’s eyes locked with mine in a steadfast gaze that held a thousand questions.
Father carried on his congratulations with such enthusiasm that dinner was able to progress without Henry taking notice of the subdued responses from everyone else. I couldn’t eat a bite. Not with the way Alasdair continued to stare at me throughout the meal. Before everyone was even finished, Alasdair stood.
“Morna, I’ve something of Mother’s I wish to give ye. She’d want ye to have it now that ye are betrothed.”
It was the perfect excuse, but I knew there was no gift awaiting me outside the room. Nerves settling deep inside me, I followed my brother outside.
“Ye’ve a habit of pulling me away from dinner.”
Ignoring me, Alasdair turned and sat down on one of the stairwell steps. I joined him.
