“Her mind has been filled with nothing other than worry over ye and her family. She doesna know what she feels for me. Allow me to give her reason to see that her heart might be more open to me than she knows.”
His lips were on mine before I could move. Unlike the last time Jerry watched on as another man kissed me, I feigned nothing as I surrendered to his touch.
Chapter 44
Conall Castle—Six Weeks Later
* * *
I would never be ready to say goodbye to him, but I knew it was time. The spell books were in place, the plaque was painted by Hamish’s expert hand, and what I knew of the story to come was ready to be told to my brother.
Hamish and I arrived at the castle on the day of Elspeth’s death. While I’d kept my promise to her to be back in two months, her labor had come early, and she passed shortly after the delivery.
The weeks that followed were filled with sadness. Most of my days were spent rocking sweet little Arran and holding a heartbroken Eoin while Alasdair dealt with his grief alone.
If not for Mary, Alasdair would’ve remained lost in his grief for so much longer. Exactly one month after her death, Mary went to his bedchamber and spent hours inside. I suspect none of us will ever know the words she said to him, but I know her well enough to believe she treated him with the tough love he needed to get up and carry on despite the ache in his heart.
I’d told Alasdair of my plan earlier, but it had been during the deepest depths of his grief, and I knew it wouldn’t fully hit him until I brought him down to the spell room.
“Ye canna do this, Morna. I canna raise them on my own. I canna bear to lose ye both.”
Elspeth’s plea remained a heavy weight inside my mind. She would’ve been so angry with me for leaving him, but I knew the future where they did not. I truly did have no choice.
“If Henry doesna believe me dead, he will gather support from other clans, and yer life here will be overturned. I’ll not have blood shed over me.”
“We can hide ye here, Morna. We can make them believe ye are dead. No one will ever have to see ye.”
Reaching for his hand, I led him down into my spell room.
“No. Such a secret would never keep, and I willna put ye or yer boys in danger. And ye willna be raising them alone. We both know Mary has been the ruler of this castle for as long as she’s worked within its walls. Ye will have her to lean on, and ye will do well.”
Alasdair seemed to have an endless flow of tears at the ready. As his breath caught on a sob, I paused in the stairwell and threw my arms around him.
I wouldn’t cry in front of him. It wouldn’t be fair to place my own heartbreak on him, but I’d never hurt so deeply in my life. Alasdair was my best friend and the only family I had left.
“I doona want to do this without ye, lass. I doona have the strength for it.”
I held him as if my life depended on it. If I could’ve stopped time right then, I would’ve.
“Ye have more strength than ye know. I know what lies ahead, and ye’ve been through the worst yer life has planned for ye. Ye will be happy again. I promise ye.”
He wept into my shoulder. Loud sobs of heartache came from his chest. He sank onto the steps, and I held him as he cried.
* * *
“By the time he is grown, Eoin willna remember the spells ye did in front of him. He willna believe any of this. He’ll think me mad.”
Hours later, cried out for the time being, Alasdair and I were able to discuss all of the final arrangements surrounding what would appear to be my death.
He stood, staring at my open spell books and the painted portrait of Donal MacChristy’s daughter, with wide, disbelieving eyes.
“I know, and I doona care what ye decide to tell him as long as ye force him to wed the lass. It willna be Donal’s daughter that he marries. The lass who arrives here is the only one who can save yer family.”
“Could ye not simply come back yerself and save us? By then, ye will be in no danger. All of this will be but a distant memory.”
Even if I didn’t already know the destinies of Eoin and the lass from centuries ahead, I wouldn’t have wanted to return. Leaving once was already killing me. I never wanted to do it again.
“No, I’m afraid ’tis destined to happen just this way. Can ye promise me ye will do what I ask ye?”
