Thea interrupted him with a cry of irritation. “The curse, the curse, thecurse.” She swooped off the chair and away from him, taking a good two angry steps before turning. “That’s all you think about.”
His brows came together in an angry V. “I don’t have a choice. I must consider it.”
She wanted to groan but stifled the sound. Did he know how mad he sounded? Taking a second to collect herself, she said, “Neal, have you ever wondered why I was so offended that day in Sir James’s office? Why I stormed out of the place?”
“You were upset with me,” he said, giving a small shrug as if it didn’t matter.
“Are all men thickheaded?” Thea demanded of the room-at-large.
“Are all women so temperamental?” Neal shot back. He came to his feet. “No, Thea, I don’t know why you left except that you don’t believe in the curse and for some reason it made you angry that I do. All right. So be it. We have a difference. Butthere are many things we agree upon. In fact, we kissed rather well.”
She brought her hands up as if to ward him off. “Oh, no, you didn’t just say that. I thought your purpose was to marry a woman whodidn’tkiss well.”
“When did I make that claim?”
“You want to marry someone you can’t like,” Thea pointed out.
“Yes, but I don’t want todislikekissing her.”
Thea pounced. “Oh, so because you want to marry me, that means you don’t like me.”
“No, Thea, don’t even jump to that conclusion.”
“What conclusion am I jumping to, my lord? I’m merely restating what you said.”
“But that’snotwhat I said.”
“Yes, it is. You said—”
Now it was Neal’s turn to roar with disapproval.“Stop twisting my words.”
It felt good to make him angry. It meant he was paying attention now.
“And you need to think about what you are saying,” Thea countered. “As to that day in the office, yes, I found the talk of curse unbelievable and a bit ridiculous. But the reason I really left, Neal, is because I didn’t want to help you on thisquest for a wife, not with the demand you don’t like her. I felt it was wrong, and I still do. Neal, Ibelievein love.”
There, she’d said it, and she was a bit unnerved by her statement. But once foolish, twice damned. She couldn’t stop herself from plunging on.
“I think it is important,” she said, pacing the distance between the bed and the doorway as she reasoned out her words. “I know I shouldn’t. If anyone should not believe in love, it is me.” She had to give a small, brittle laugh at herself for having been such a fool. “I know how hard it is to find love. You think you have it, you believe you have found someone you can trust, who will stand beside you and protect you and make you feel as if you finally have a place in this world where you belong—and then you find out you are wrong. People aren’t to be trusted, and no one person can give anyone everything she thinks she needs. So Ididn’tbelieve in love, but then here you are in Sir James’s office saying you are deliberately seeking someone you can’t and won’t and refuse to love, and that’s when something so deep inside me that I didn’t know it was there rose up and said,You are wrong... because love is important, Neal. When I think of my sons, I know it is all that ever matters.”
“You loved Martin?”
His question took a moment to penetrate her mind. She was thinking about this all-encompassing emotion called love ... and he was asking about her late husband?
What’s more, he was waiting for an answer.
Thea shook her head. “Of course I did—” That wasn’t completely right either. “I thought I did,” she amended. “Yes, I did at one time.”
“What happened?”
“What do you mean, ‘what happened?’ ” she challenged.
Neal shifted his weight. He wasn’t as overzealous as he had been a few moments ago. “You left your family and everything you knew for him. So, what happened? I gathered you were not completely happy in your marriage. What changed your affections?”
She crossed her arms, wanting to refuse an answer, then deciding it made no difference if she was candid with Neal. After all, there had been a time when he’d known all of her confidences.
“Boyd was difficult,” she said. The words sounded so simple, but there was a wealth of the unspoken in each of them. She slid her gaze toward the cold hearth, remembering, and feeling disloyal. “I loved him enough to defy everyoneand elope. But I don’t think I knew him. No, wait,” she said correcting herself, “I don’t think Itrustedhim.”
“You can trust me.”
