His lips twitch, humorless. “I’d like to think so. But sometimes…” He leans in close, the confession brushing warm across my ear. “…Sometimes I’m afraid I’m not.”
The raw honesty cracks something in me. I press harder. “What else are you afraid of?”
A pause. His jaw tics. “Losing my pack.”
“Are you close to them?”
He shrugs, shifting nearer. “They’re the only family I have left.” His gaze drops, just for a second, shadowed. “But it doesn’t fill the hole. Not really.”
The spores make me reckless. “What hole?”
His eyes flicker, pain hidden deep. He doesn’t answer.
Sweat beads my brow. I found a question he doesn’t want to answer. I look away, desperate for an escape, and land on Olcan. His eyes spear mine across the pink-misted room. Narrow. Hungry. My pulse spikes.
Thorn notices. His hand tilts my chin back toward him. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m scared.” The truth claws out of me, merciless.
“What are you afraid of?”
“I lost everyone. I’m scared of losing what little I have left.”
“How would you?” His voice is steady.
“I built my life from nothing. I’ve been my own everything for so long… I don’t know how to be a mate. I’m afraid…” My throat closes. “I’m afraid I’ll fail.”
The words hang raw, exposed. Thorn opens his mouth to speak when the priest’s voice cuts through. “The trial is ended. The spores may linger — rest, and by morning you will be right as rain.”
The spell breaks. We rise together.
“Ember, I?—”
But I don’t want to hear what he has to say. I’ve already been so raw in front of the first person since Roman. I don’t want to hear his sympathy or see his pity. So I step ahead of him, toward the temple doors, relief trembling in my limbs. But before I can leave, Olcan steps into my path. His eyes are wild, feral, the spores turning his hunger into obsession.
“Olcan—” Thorn starts, a warning rumble in his chest.
“Do you love Thorn?” Olcan’s voice cuts sharp.
The spores burn through my veins, forcing me open. “I…I don’t know.”
“Olcan,” Thorn snaps, “this is inappropriate. Get your paws off mymate.”
He ignores him, eyes locked on me. “Have you chosen a mate yet?”
I stumble back, trying to skirt around him, but he presses closer, insistent. Thorn shoves him aside, his snarl splitting the air.
“Answer me!” Olcan’s persistence is feral. “Have you chosen?”
The spores seize me one last time, dragging the words out of my mouth against my will. “No.”
That outburst startles me, so I bolt down the stairs. Shoulders brushing the entryway’s doorframe, I push into the night air, cool relief crashing over me. My body shudders, breaking into fur, paws hitting earth before the shame can choke me further.
The moon crowns the valley, and I run toward it, desperate to outrun the truths I never meant to tell anyone.
Especially not someone like Thorn.
Chapter 19
