The truth is, I want to.I also can’t.
Denying him feels like suffocating.Like fucking torture.What I want to tell him is “yes, dammit, cancel the fucking auction and I will do anything you ask,”but if I say that, then what?What happens when Ravi grows up a little more and realizes who I really am?When he regrets the old man he’s shackled himself to?
Ravi is pure sunlight.He’s idealistic and hopeful.He won’t eat meat because it pains him to harm another living thing.He ran into a fucking drug warehouse to try and save a bunch of total strangers.What would it do to him, tying himself to a man who’s made his living on death?
My silence goes on for too long, and as the seconds pass Ravi’s expression turns serious.Then wounded.Then stony.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”His softly spoken words are a death knell in the midst of the cacophony of students rushing to class.“You’re willing to give me anything to call off the auction except the thing I want most.Which means I can’t stay.Which means I need the money so I can go.”
“Ravi…”
He pulls himself to his full height, his glare intense enough to melt my face.His eyes narrow.Almost looks like he’s putting on some kind of persona.
“Go fuck yourself, Daddy.I don’t want to see you again.”
With his words, Ravi may as well have sliced me open.Shoved my own knife into my gut and twisted for all he’s worth.
I’m sure I’m dying as I watch him walk away.
Chapter Sixteen
Liam
I dodge Zed’sfist as it comes at me, using it as an opening to catch my friend in the ribs.
Zed winces and shakes it off as we circle each other.
“Okay, let’s have it.Bev said your head’s too far up your ass to see straight.Something to do with Ravi.”
Closing my eyes with a grunt, I slide my wrist across my face to clear the sweat.
And like every time I close my eyes lately, I’m assaulted by images of my hand on his flesh.I hear the crack of my palm across his ass.The sounds of him shouting his orgasm to everyone in the zip code.
The harder I try not to want him, the more I do.I think that’s the worst part.
And thengo fuck yourself, Daddy.
“I’m fine,” I insist.
Zed launches a kick my way.I’m a beat too late blocking it, taking the edge of his foot on my chin before I reach up and grab it with both hands.
“Are you sure about that, buddy?”He gasps for breath and tries to pull his foot away, but I hold tight.This is what he gets for suggesting I’m not on top of my game.
Even though I’m not.Not even a little bit.
“Look, we can all tell you’re twitchy as fuck.You have to know a meltdown can’t fly around here.Bev said you’d been fighting with ‘that kid who lives with you,’ but I thought Ravi had moved.”
Ravi climbing through his window half-dressed.Ravi draped over my lap while my hand reddens his light brown skin.Ravi’s teeth sinking into his lip.
Go fuck yourself, Daddy.
Argh.With a shout, I flip my oldest friend onto his back.He hits the ancient mat with a satisfying thud.
“It’s complicated,” I say as he tries to push himself off the floor.
“Do us all a favor and uncomplicate it, will you?This business is plenty stressful without the team getting nervous because their leader is losing his grip.You need to take a few days off or something?”
More like a year.On the other hand, having to come into work is probably the only thing keeping me sane.Adhering to my schedule is the only reason I didn’t challenge the meathead bodyguard Daniel Corvus put on Ravi and then drag the kid home by his hair like the caveman I am.
