High-key, I was geeked. After months of living in limbo, I could finally breathe again. In hindsight, I guess that I was breaking my own heart.
For me…I didn’t want to be one ofthosegirls. Everybody knows them. The type of girls that romanticize love. Have unrealistic expectations and wind up with their feelings hurt.
From the start, at just twelve years, Sin J had been it. From the moment our eyes met, it was kismet. We just gelled together naturally. Our crush was hard to conceal, and we hardly tried, for real.
I was down to do whatever he wanted, whenever. By the time we’d graduated to a sexual relationship, I was already head over hills.
I had tunnel vision, not seeing beyond what was in front of me. So, I didn’t think twice about falling for someone that I only saw seasonally. It wasn’t until my sixteenth birthday that I realized that being in a long-distance relationship was hard. My boyfriend missed a milestone in my life, and I didn’t see him in person until months after. Then I began longing for something that was closer and physically present.
The more my love grew for Sin J, the more fearful I became. I’d seen the scenario play out too many times with the people around me, and I wasn’t foolish enough to believe that we’d be any different. We were young. Attractive. With our whole lives ahead of us. So, facing temptation was a given. And the distance created distrust. It was driving me crazy, quite frankly. So, I decided to break up with him.
There wasn’t an ultimatum or anything. I wasn’t trying to manipulate him to have my way. Instead, I was trying to snatch the Band-Aid off, and face the inevitable. We had too many obstacles to have a successful relationship, right then. So, I decided to cut him off, before he’d have me sitting in my room, staring at the walls, contemplating about telling my daddy to put a hit on his ass.
I thought that I was protecting myself, but that ended up being the hardest time of my life. I’d cried myself to sleep. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t think. Then one day, I just walked up on Jahrae and JJ discussing Sin J moving to Houston. I couldn’t believe my ears, and swore that they must’ve had it wrong. Then I was elated when I heard it from the horse’s mouth. He was here to stay.
And now, I saw the world completely different. There was no longer this glass ceiling hovering over our heads. The sky was the limit, as I could think about the future without butterflies churning in the pit of my stomach.
“What’s up, kinfolk?”
I whirled around and found my big cousin Terio standing there, along with the dude that he called himself managing. Jules.
Jules was about 6’4, medium built, sturdy, abs of steel, with a sun kissed peanut butter complexion. He rocked a crisp tapered fade, was heavily tatted, and possessed the perfect smile. Dressed down in a wife's beater and basketball shorts, he was still somehow fresh.
“Hey.” I hugged Terio, while Jules stared a hole into the side of my face.
He couldn’t help himself eventually. “So, you aint gone speak, Jahreiah?”
I smirked, while he gave me a half hug. “Hey, Jules. What’s up?”
Gazing down at me, he licked his lips. “I don’t know. You tell me? You didn’t see me texting you?”
Biting the corner of my lip, my eyes darted around, canvassing the yard. I was hoping that I didn’t see Sin J, but there was no luck. My daddy literally had a boxing ring in the middle of the backyard, and Sin J had been sparring with everybody willing to challenge him for the last hour. But somehow, he was casually sitting at the edge of the ring right then, staring right at me.
“Yeah, about that—”
“Lil’ nigga, focus,” Terio interrupted. “Lil’ kinfolk’s slick ass is just gonna have Big Jahrein tossing your ass up out of here. Besides, we here to win this easy ten racks.”
I frowned in confusion. “Ten racks for what?”
Terio smirked. “Cause ya daddy done lost his mind. That nigga had the nerve to call me and say that he had somebody that could knock Jules sideways. Mr. 12-0 in this boxing shit. Then I fell out laughing when he said that it was Lil’ Sin. My lil’ nigga from the trenches is gonna eat him alive, and go home with a extra seven racks in his pocket. Easy.”
Sighing, I realized that there wasn’t much I could say, without appearing weird. But my daddy was tripping. Just because Sin J had won some random fights at a party didn’t mean that he was now ready to go up against a whole professional boxer.
Jules was nineteen and was a contender fighter, who was well on his way to world class. Since Terio had taken him under his wing, they’d been traveling, as he fought all over the country. Andthatwas who my daddy expected to get in the ring with my man. He clearly had lost his muthafuckin mind.
“Are they like gonna actually exchange blows?” I questioned.
“That’s the only way to box, Jahrieah.” Terrio responded.
“Whatever,” I grumbled, as he strolled off, while Jules remained there.
“Anyway.” Jules licked his lips. “Like I was saying. Why you never hit me back?”
Once again, I cut my eyes at Sin J...and he was still staring. Only now, my daddy was standing in front of him, clearly yapping away.
“Jahrieah,” Jules uttered, as he grabbed my hand.
“Jules,” I sighed, while pulling my hand back. “We can’t--”
