Noor gave me a familiar grin and rolled her shoulders back. She held up a hand, folding down a finger for every item she checked off. “While you are charming the pants off mister-only-wears-black, I learn what I can about the palace, the head of the guard, and Vahid’s routine. And get as much information as I can.”
“Exactly.” I picked a speck of road dirt from my indigo kameez. The sleeves of my suit were detailed with blooming lotus blossom embroidery, showing off my dark skin like the gold setting of a ruby.
“That one looks nice.” Noor nodded to my outfit.
I smiled. “It’s Mazin’s favorite color.”
Noor reared back in mock shock. “You’re joking. You mean it’s not black?”
I huffed a laugh. “He wears what he wears in service to the emperor. But I know him better than anyone. I know his favorite colors, foods, what he thinks about when he wakes up. I know him.”
I exhaled, feeling the words on my tongue, remembering how they used to feel before, when I thought I loved him.
When I was so sure he loved me.
“You used to. You don’t know how a person may have changed.” Noor’s expression turned hard. “He betrayed you. So he must have surprised you.”
I sat back in my seat and chewed on the edge of my lip. “He betrayed me, yes. But I grew up with him. I fought with him.”
“And still he handed you over to the guards without a second thought.”
Noor’s voice was matter-of-fact, and even though the words were true, they still felt like rubbing coarse salt in a fresh knife wound.
I hardened my jaw. “You’re right. Thank you for helping me to remember the things I cannot see.”
“Especially when it comes to Maz.” She raised a brow.
My nails bit the flesh of my palms. “It’s hard to have perspective where he is concerned,” I admitted, though the words were difficult to get out.
“You sounded like a strangled cat saying that.”
“It isn’t easy admitting my weakness.”
“And is he one?”
“A weakness?”
She rolled her eyes. “No, a fat mango. Yes, a weakness.”
I stewed over her words. It was foolish of me to try and deny the truth. I had loved Maz for half of my life. The hatred festering inside me was close to obsession. But I couldn’t lose sight of the bigger picture, the goals Noor and I both wanted to achieve.
“Yes.”
Noor let out a whoosh of breath that whistled between her teeth. “Well, at least you are honest about it. It’s more dangerous when everyone is in denial.”
“I’m not in danger of falling back in love with him, Noor,” I said dryly. “But… I know I am a little blinded when it comes to him. He was the betrayal I never saw coming. He was the one constant I always had, no matter what.”
I turned my focus back to the palace looming ever closer, where all my enemies were waiting. “And now he’s the one I have to destroy.”
The carriage lurched to a stop suddenly, and Noor was thrown forward.
“What—”
Something hit the side of the tanga and my hand went to the talwar at my side. “Get down,” I warned her. I crouched down too, peeking over the side of the carriage, to the street beyond. A crowd had gathered, chanting and shouting. They weren’t looking at us, but at the palace. A line of soldiers blocked their path, their hands on their swords.
I looked down at the side of the carriage, seeing a rotten, bruised tomato on the stones below.
“Sorry, sahiba,” said the driver from the front seat. “The street is blocked off. There are protestors marching.” He clicked his tongue in command and the horses began walking backward. The carriage turned around, heading back the way we came.
