“Yes, but if he gets to the Mountain with the crown, we’ll have lost our only opportunity. He might manage to break the curse and kill my family.”
“But we can’t meet him out in the open, we don’t have that kind of power to meet him head-on.”
“That’s why we take him here.” I pointed to the section of the map I’d been studying closely for the past few days.
“The Khangar Pass?” Mishah looked over his shoulder. “That’s cutting it close.”
“It’s the only place we could have a strategic advantage. And it’s close enough that we could steal the crown and try to use it ourselves to break the curse.”
I looked at Yaseema, who was quietly studying at the map. She raised her eyes to mine.
“I shouldn’t have taken the crown,” she said quietly, and Mishah raised her head. “It’s yours. I’ll find another way to help my world. Right now, the important thing is stopping the Viceroy.” She moved closer to me, studying the pass. I breathed her in again.
“After we use the crown to break the curse, we’ll find a way,” I said to her. The words felt hollow, but I meant them. “We aren’t free unless all of us are.”
“I’ve always wanted to visit the human lands,” Mishah said, with a wry grin.
Then she abruptly got up and slung her arm around Zaye. “But we have limited time until that happens. The Viceroy is going to head to Tirich Mir tomorrow—he’s preparing the troops. The kitchens have never been so busy. I have to leave soon.”
She nodded at me. “I’ll tell the council what I know. You stay here. We’ll leave in the morning.”
They slipped out of the tent, leaving Yaseema and me alone.
The silence was heavy and crackling between us. I turned to look at her after the quiet hung in the air for too long.
“We leave tomorrow?”
“And hopefully take back the crown.” I swallowed thickly, my words difficult to say aloud. “Yaseema, I meant what I said. Once we’ve used the crown to free my family, we’ll restore life magic to your world. We shouldn’t be fighting these battles alone. You shouldn’t.”
She gave a small laugh. “But it feels like I’ve fought them alone for so long.”
“You don’t have to. Not now.”
“What makes now different?”
She had come so close to me, and the air was on fire between us. I could hear my heart thundering through my skin.
“You know what makes it different.”
“You saved me,” she said simply. “You gave up your advantage for me. I know we discussed it, but I feel like there’s something you aren’t saying. And I want you to say it.”
I leaned against my desk and tilted my head back. I didn’t want to have this conversation, not now, not when I could barely explain it myself.
I felt like if I left you there, I’d leave myself there too.
“My father and I got caught in the battle before we had the chance to get to the Mountain,” I said abruptly. “That’s the reason I’m not in there with the rest of my family. I was young but fought alongside my father when Salt first invaded and took our magic. And then Reza killed him.”
Her breath caught and she was so still. I realized I hadn’t told her anything about my family before, not really. I hadn’t really spoken about them to anyone.
My chest burned with each word, my heart catching in my ribs like a beast bursting to get out.
“Reza drained him first, until he was old and twisted, couldn’t say his name, or who he was. But he knew me still. He recognized me. That’s why we help them—the zulmi. They’re in there somewhere. Still there, waiting. Sometimes they have moments where they burst out, become who they are, have pieces of memories. But I couldn’t save him before Reza had him executed.”
“I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“I ran.” The lump in my throat hadn’t eased; if anything it had grown thicker. “I ran into the city. I hid from who I was for so long, until the inklings of the resistance started. And eventually I joined Reza while working for the Rebellion.” I looked up at her, willing her to understand. “I’ve been alone for so long. I’ve never had anyone who understood. There’s no one who knows who I was before Salt came anymore. I’m not even sure if I know who I am now,” I let out a little laugh. “But with you, I feel the most like myself. Not the person I’ve had to be, the identity I’ve been given after it was stripped from me. But the person who is connected still to everything that was important to us.”
She exhaled and ran her hands through her short curls. I had a brief memory of cutting that hair, slicing away the burnt strands.
