“I was young when I got together with Tommy.And Trish and I had serious problems, and we weren’t together long....Wait a minute.You said the first time you wanted to propose to me was after you met Jack.When was the second time?”
“I was going to ask you at the cottage.I had this plan.After we, you know, did it, I was going to suggest we go for a walk in the woods.We’d be holding hands.Then I was gonna let go of your hand and stop walking and say, ‘Honey kid?’And you’d stop walking and turn to look at me.And I was gonna go down on one knee and give you a speech.I wrote a speech, and I memorized it so I wouldn’t have to read it off a piece of paper.And after I gave the speech, I was going to take the ring out of my pocket and hold it out to you and say, ‘Will you marry me?’It was supposed to be perfect.But I fucked everything up, and we didn’t end up doing it.And thenyouproposed tome.Which was not supposed to happen.”
“You wrote a speech?”
I was looking at the road, not at him, partly because I felt embarrassed, but he sounded surprised.Touched, even.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Can I hear it?”
“I’m driving.”
“And you got me a ring?”
“Yeah, it’s in my coat pocket.”
“You gonna give it to me or what?”he said.
“But I didn’t propose to you.”
“Don’t you want me to have it?Did it cost a lot?”
“Not much.I made it.”
“Now I really want to see it.”
“It’s nothing special.Once we get home, I can give it to you, if you want it.”
“You like to keep me waiting, don’t you?”he said.
“Yeah.”Then I thought about what he’d said, and it hit kinda hard.“Guess I did, didn’t I?”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”He slipped his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder through my coat.“You did a good job.”
I tried to keep my eyes on the road, but everything was blurry.“Good job” wasn’t something I heard too often.Not from someone I loved.
I pulled onto the soft shoulder and turned the engine off.We were in the middle of nowhere, and this wasn’t the way I’d planned it, but it felt right to do this now.
“What?”he said.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to face him.There was no room to go down on one knee.I took his hand.He looked perplexed.
“Sometimes, I can’t believe you’re still here,” I said.“I wake up, and I feel like I must have dreamed you, because you’re too special to be real.My first time with you, I felt like I’d been shot, but it didn’t hurt.You didn’t touch me, but you sent something through my soul, and it changed who I was.I think a part of you is still inside me and always will be.Do you remember the day I came to your place after we met, and I told you I just wanted to be with you?I still do.I want to be with you for the rest of our lives.Will you marry me, honey kid?”
“Wow,” he said.
I pulled the ring box out of my pocket and opened it.The ring looked cheap and pathetic, and I felt awful giving him some handmade piece of wood.He deserved better.
He took it out of the box and looked at it, looked at the inscription I’d put on the inside:To H.K.from T.I love you.Always.
I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.He had such a poker face.
“It’s nothing special,” I said.
“It is.You made it for me.”
“People must have made stuff for you before.”
