“It asked me if I was comfortable getting naked in front of a camera.”
I put my slice of pizza down because I couldn’t swallow.“And you said?”
“I said I was.”He shrugged.“The reason I didn’t tell you before was because I didn’t think I had any chance of getting the part.”
“Well, now you do.So, everyone in the city—everyone in Canada’s gonna see you naked?”
“If I get the part, yeah.”
I felt sick.I thought about what my mom would say if she found out.
“Look, Craig, this is the most high-profile thing I’ve ever tried out for, and I’ve got nothing else lined up.I’ll never work with Jack again, which shuts the door on pretty much everything for me.He’s given me most of the work I’ve ever done, and he recommended me for the rest.”
“You’re not gonna go hungry,” I said.“And you’re not gonna be cold because you have no place to live.I can support us both if I have to.”
“You’re not gonna have to support me,” he said.“I’ve paid my way, haven’t I?I pay for half of everything.”
“And how much do you have in savings?How long can you pay your half if you don’t get this job or you’re unemployed for six months?What I’m saying is that you don’t have to take this part or any part where you have to take your clothes off.I can support us both on what I make.”
“It’s my career, Craig.I don’t do it because I have to.And I don’t want to be your househusband.That’s not why I’m marrying you.”
“So, you’re saying youwanteverybody to see you naked?”
“I’m saying if it’s part of the job, I’m gonna do it.”
“Well, I thought it was special, you seeing me like that and me seeing you.Just between us.”
We didn’t speak for the rest of the meal or on the way home.I hated being angry at him.And I hated that he was an actor.I knew you were supposed to accept everything about the person you loved, and I accepted that he was an actor.But I hated what his career made him do.And I hated that he was okay with it.
When we got home, I got out my tap board, took off my hoodie, and started practicing.He sat on the couch and watched.I kept going, waiting for him to do something, leave, whatever.But he didn’t.After I finished my cooldown routine, he went up to me.
“You want a hug?”he said.
I did, but I just couldn’t right then.“No, thanks.”
I had a shower.Then it was bedtime.He was already in bed when I went into the bedroom.I lay on the far side of the bed with my back to him.I usually spooned him at night.It was how we fell asleep.Maybe I was trying to make a point.If you don’t need me, maybe I don’t need you.I turned off the light.
“Good night, Craig.”
“Good night.”
––––––––
Ididn’t sleep, ormaybe I did but not much.I got up super early, got dressed quietly, and slipped out of the apartment without eating breakfast.Work sucked.I was exhausted.I kept wanting to text him and apologize, but the issue still wasn’t resolved, so there didn’t seem to be any point.I kept expecting him to call me, but, well, he was all about giving me space, so maybe I wasn’t too surprised.
When I got home from work, he was in the kitchen, making burgers.
“Sorry,” he said when he served me one.“They got burned.”
I ate it anyway.Ketchup helped.
“I invited Tommy to the wedding,” he said.
“Okay.”
“He wants to bring Edgar.”
“What did you tell him?”
