“Yeah.That wasn’t much fun to shoot.”And he sounded like it got to him, like it wasn’t all acting.
“You get why I hate Joel, then?”
“You hate his character on the show.”
No, I hated Joel, because he had what I used to have, wished I still had, would have given anything to get back.
He reached across the table and touched my shoulder.Before I could pull back, I saw why—he was touching the little bisexual flag I’d sewn onto my warm-up jacket.
“Yeah,” I said.“I’m out.Like,outout.I went to Pride last month.”
It was part of the reason why we’d split.Maybe I wanted him to know, even if it was too late to matter to us anymore.He didn’t say anything, though.
Usually, I was ravenous after a show because stage fright meant I couldn’t keep anything down beforehand, but I was too upset to eat much.
I looked at my plate.“The company’s my family now.They were all I had, along with Bexley and Ben, after you left.I was in a bad place.I had to go to hospital for a while.”
He didn’t say anything.I looked up to see him staring at me, looking upset.
“I’m not asking for your pity,” I said.
“I’m sorry.”
I wasn’t expecting that.He sounded sincere.
“You don’t owe me an apology,” I said.
“I do, though.”
For what?Rubbing my nose in his success?I had it coming after what I’d done to him.I didn’t want to talk anymore, so I pretended to be interested in the food.
When we were finished, the server came to take our plates, and he handed her his credit card.
“Eddie—”
“I’ve got it.”
“I can pay my own way,” I said.Yeah, I wasn’t rich, but I’d never asked him for money.
“I know,” he said.“But let me, this once.”
It wasn’t worth arguing over.We left the restaurant and stood outside.There was an awkward silence.
“Thanks for dinner,” I said.“I should...probably go.”
“Got someone waiting?”he said.
I was supposed to be at Bexley’s housewarming, but that wasn’t what he meant, so I said, “No.”
I figured he’d look smug, but he didn’t.He looked relieved.I guess because I couldn’t compete with him.
“Do you want to see my place?”he said.
Part of me wanted to walk away.The rest of me couldn’t, because I knew I’d never see him again after this, and even though he wasn’t mine anymore, I still loved him.
“It’s not far,” he said.
I sighed.“Sure.”
