“Okay,” I said.“I’ll come.”
He leaned in close and murmured in my ear, “You definitely will if you give me some time alone with you.”
And of course, that was me blushing like nuts, just when Joel walked into the kitchen.
––––––––
The car that droveus to campus was a limo.Joel was with us.He seemed different, relaxed, a friendly smile instead of a cynical one.But I kept remembering that I’d watched this guy assault my boyfriend on TV.
Eddie.My boyfriend.
I let my knee bump against his as we drove.Yesterday, I’d been too wound up, too in my head to think about sex.But ever since he’d kissed me in the kitchen, all I could think about was how much I wanted him.I was trying not to be obvious.I had my backpack on my lap, and whenever I looked at him, which, okay, was often, I did it out the corner of my eye, and then I’d look out the window.Because every single time I did, he was looking right at me, and he’d smile or wink.
Joel spent the whole ride checking his phone or pretending to.When the car stopped to let us out, Joel said goodbye and walked away.Eddie had me follow him, and he introduced me to security, so they’d know I was allowed to be there.Then he took me to his trailer.This wasn’t like the trailer he’d had the last time.
He unlocked the door and let me in.He closed the blinds and turned on the air conditioner.
“It’s huge.You’re not sharing with anyone?This is all yours?”
“It’s allours.”He came back to me and pushed me up against the door like he wasn’t messing around.
He didn’t used to do that.He almost always let me take the lead.But I had to admit, it was hot when he did it.He moved his face close until the tips of our noses were touching.“I don’t want to share you with anyone,” he said.
“I don’t either.”I kissed him.Well, I put my mouth on his, and then I froze.This wasn’t the best time to get performance anxiety, but it was happening.I hadn’t kissed him—I hadn’t kissed anyone—since last winter.He’d kissed both of his costars since then.
He breathed against my cheek, and I put my hands on his sides.
He pulled back a touch.“Okay?”
“Yeah.”I slipped my arms around him, one hand splayed over his shoulder blade, and the other cupping the softest part of his waist just below his ribs, where my hand fit perfectly, like it always had, and I pulled him in close and hugged him.I’d forgotten how sweet he felt in my arms, how whole I felt when I held him like that.
I moved my palm down to the small of his back and pulled him in closer so the full length of his body was pressed against mine.
“Don’t move, Eddie.I just...wanna hold you like this.”I tightened my arms around him.
Then he was holding me too.
“Missed you so much,” I murmured.
I wasn’t seeing stars, but it was like looking into a bright light.It felt like crying, only I wasn’t sad.I was full—full of all this brilliance being with him gave me, and I was about to...
I think he knew what was going to happen before I did, because he caught me before I could fall.He was stronger than he used to be, and he held me up against the door.
“I, uh...”
“Yeah, I know.You’re not gonna pass out on me again, are you, tapper?”
I shook my head.He pulled me away from the door and backed me up till I hit the bed, and I collapsed onto it.I was limp as cooked spaghetti, and I was shaking and panting.
He got a glass bottle of fancy water from the bar fridge, opened it, and handed it to me.“I don’t have any milk, and my personal trainer doesn’t let me drink pop.”
I drank half of it and pressed the bottom of the bottle to my forehead, nice and cold.
“Okay?”he said, stroking my hair and getting his hand wet in the process.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.You obviously needed to do that.”
