“I noticed,” he said.“You want to do it again?”
“Yeah.”I mean, I’d been called a great kisser by more than one of my girlfriends, and I had to show him I knew what I was doing.So, I kissed him properly this time.
This was not like kissing my girlfriends.Thiswas incredible, wild, intense.He tasted like the air before a thunderstorm, and my mouth was full of sparks.And then suddenly, it was too much.I pulled back fast, and I couldn’t get enough air, and I was hyperventilating and squeezing my eyes shut.
“I can’t,” I said.“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said softly.
When I looked at him, he looked moretherethan he had been, and his pupils were so big they’d pushed the green out, and his irises were gold.
“If you don’t want to do anything else, it’s okay,” he said.
“Yeah.I...feel really strange right now.I don’t know how to deal.”
“Why don’t we have dinner,” he said calmly, “work on your model, then get some sleep?”
“Yeah.”
“Back in a sec.”He went off to the bathroom.He was giving me space, which was exactly what I needed.
I went into the kitchen and had to grab hold of the sink.I felt dizzy.I tried to breathe normally, and I wiped my forearm across my eyes because they were watering.
By the time he came back, I’d calmed down.I made us dinner, and we ate in front of the TV.He was giving me lots of space now, like he knew I needed it.
How could I want him so much and still be afraid of him?
Chapter Eight: Proposition
Things settled downfor the next while.We didn’t talk about it, but I kept thinking about our kiss.Why it had happened.What we’d fought about.
The thing that made me okay with his job and what he was doing with Edgar was remembering that when I’d first told him how I felt about him, he’d told me he wouldn’t cheat on Trish.I figured if he wouldn’t cheat on her, he wouldn’t cheat on me either.
I didn’t make any moves on him, and he didn’t try any on me.Every night, I’d make us dinner and wait till he got home so we could eat together.He didn’t argue, but after a couple of days, he started paying me for his half of the groceries.I didn’t want to take his money, because I didn’t know how much he had.But he insisted.
It was nice having something to look forward to at the end of the day, enjoying his company, even when we didn’t talk.I’d hear his key in the lock, and I’d feel happy like I hadn’t for a long time.
