Which was what my mom would have said.The way she’d wait to scream at me till we got home whenever I’d done something in public to make her angry.
I stared at the coffee table where theWanton TownDVD still sat.Two hours ago, I was the one who was mad.But I hadn’t really been mad, just embarrassed about how I felt.
You fucked up, Porter.
I got my phone out and called him.It rang and then cut off.
So I sent him a text:I’m sorry.Please come back.
He didn’t answer.I wasn’t going to text him again.He was already pissed at me.
He’s not going to move out.His stuff is still here.
He doesn’t have anywhere else to go except the shelter.
He’ll be okay.He’ll come back.I just have to wait.
So I waited.I didn’t move an inch.I even held my breath.I felt like if I sat totally still, he’d come back.
He was gone for an hour.I heard his key in the door, and then he came in.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“You should be.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I want to sleep on the couch tonight.”
“Fuck, Eddie.”
“I need space.Like you did tonight.You should be okay with that.This way I won’t accidentally touch you.”
“Okay, whatever you want.”
I got up off the couch, and he went past me, making sure he didn’t come anywhere near me, and he went up the hall to the bedroom.He came back with his backpack over his shoulder and an armful of blankets and his pillow.I went into the bedroom and left him alone.Because clearly, that was what he wanted.
Part of me was hoping he’d come to bed, so I left the bedroom door open.I tried to sleep, but every time I heard a sound, I thought it was him coming back.We’d slept beside each other every night for four months.Not having him beside me felt wrong.I kept staring at where his pillow should have been.
