I suspected, based on things I’d noticed from living with him, that therewasno Responsible Eddie.Still, one kiss wouldn’t hurt....
I went with it, maybe to prove I had some control, because I’d given him such a bad first impression of my stamina last night.And also, this morning.
Ten minutes later, it was even harder to stop, but it had been a long day, and I was wiped.I nuzzled him in the hollow above his eye, breathing him in, and I whispered in his ear, “Bedtime.”
I pulled him off the couch and along the hallway with me to bed.We took off our jeans and socks and I bundled him under the blankets and moved in behind him, pulling him against me, my chin nestling into his shoulder, arms around him.Our bodies fit together perfectly.
I squeezed him gently.“You make me happy, honey kid.”
Honey kid.I liked that.And maybe, since he didn’t elbow me in the ribs for saying it, he did too.
––––––––
On Monday at work,I could barely focus.I’d be hit with a skin memory, and I’d feel him under my hands, or I’d taste him, and I was ready to pop like a firecracker.Then I’d run a circuit of the stairwell, bouncing up the stairs.No elevator for me.
Frustrated as fuck, I texted him,When are you getting home?
A few minutes later, he texted back,6.everything ok?
Yeah.I just really miss you.xx
I didn’t want to interrupt him at work, but I was going crazy.To take my mind off it, I texted Bex and asked him to meet me for lunch.I owed him an explanation.I was afraid it would be awkward.He’d seemed okay at the gig, and I knew he was cool about this kind of thing in general.I just wasn’t sure if he’d have a problem with me specifically.I was afraid he might treat me differently now that I was out to him.
We shot the shit for ten minutes before Bex brought it up.
“How long have you been dating him?”said Bex.
“We made it official the day before you met him.”
“And unofficially?”
“He’s been living with me for the past five months,” I said.
“That why I haven’t been invited to your place since April, and you’ve been bailing on hangouts, apart from rehearsals and gigs?”
“I had to figure stuff out,” I said.“I’m sorry, Bex.”
I could see him doing the math.“You said you met him through work?”
Lying about it would have meant betraying him, and he was still my best friend.
“He’s Trish’s ex,” I said.
“Oh.Okay.”
I felt protective of Eddie.“They didn’t break up because of me.We didn’t get together till after they broke up.There was a gap.A big gap.”
I thought he’d cross-examine me about how it happened, but what he said was, “Five months.That’s a record for you.”
Bex had had one girlfriend his whole life.They’d gotten together when they were fourteen and split last year.He was still friends with her.He’d never commented on how many girlfriends I’d had.Most of them hadn’t lasted more than a few weeks.Sometimes, I felt sleazy with him knowing that.
I wondered how I’d have felt if Bex had come out to me.I loved Bex, but I’d never felt that way about him.Especially now, the lack of that energy between us was obvious.
Bex said, “Still figuring stuff out?”It was like he could read my mind.
“Yeah.”
“So, we’re good?”he said.
