He didn’t seem offended, so I knew he was going to let me.
When the food was ready, I picked an empty table away from the front doors and the windows and the other customers because I wanted to say what I had to say in private—or as private as we could be here.I took my toque off, and of course, my hair was sticking up everywhere, which I didn’t normally care about because I didn’t usually take my toque off till I got home.So I tried to fix my hair without being obvious.He’d started eating and didn’t seem to notice.
“So, how’ve you been?”I said.“Sorry—I asked you already.I...yeah.Trish left the lab.I don’t know where she is.”
“Neither do I,” he said casually and sipped his hot chocolate.
“What did you say?”Because I couldn’t believe what I’d heard.
“We broke up,” he said.
“Was it because of what I said to you?”
“It had nothing to do with that,” he said.
I watched him eat his sandwich, wipe his fingers clean on his napkin, and take a sip of his hot chocolate.My mouth might have been hanging open.
“What?”he said.
“Eddie, I’ve been looking for you ever since Trish left the lab.I was okay not seeing you if I could ask her how you were, but then she left, and I had no idea.I went to your place, but you’d moved out.The person there didn’t know where you were.You’re not on social media.I don’t know what your movies were called.”I was blathering.“I couldn’t find you.”
“Well,” he said, balling his napkin up in his hand, “here I am.”
“Where are you living now?”
“Shelter.”He said it like being homeless was no big deal.
“Shit.”
He shrugged.“It’s just till I find somewhere else.”
“I’ve got a couch you can crash on—till you find a place.It’s not the Park Hyatt, but it’s better than a shelter.”I didn’t hesitate.No way was I letting him go back to a shelter.
“What are you saying exactly?”he said.
“I’m saying I couldn’t sleep at night thinking about you staying there.”
“What are you really offering me, Craig?”He sounded genuinely curious.
“The last time we talked, I asked you a question, and you said you couldn’t answer because you had a girlfriend.You remember?”
“I remember,” he said.He said it seriously, like it mattered to him too.
“Do you have a girlfriend now?A boyfriend?”
“No and no.Areyousingle?”
“Well, yeah.I haven’t looked at anyone that way since the day I met you.I don’t think I ever will again.”
I’d never even admitted that to myself.But I’d said it out loud, to him.
He blinked.“Nothing like dropping something heavy like that onto the table.”He didn’t sound disgusted or angry.Just surprised.
“Would you put me out of my misery, Eddie?Please?If you’re not interested, say it, and I’ll leave you alone.”
“What are you asking me for?A one-night stand?”
“No.I want to spend time with you and not just for one night.I want to talk to you.I want to know where you went to high school, what your favorite color is, and what song you play when you’re sad to cheer yourself up.I want to be with you.And I want to know you’re safe and nothing bad’s going to happen to you.Okay?”
