“Craig, that was another fucking level.”
“I don’t know what to say, Eddie.”
People didn’t compliment me often, and because it was coming from him, it was even more flattering.
After dinner, we had brownies with ice cream.I filled the sink with dishes and turned the hot water on.He hopped on the kitchen counter by the sink and watched me.When the sink was full, I shut off the tap.
“I wanna taste you,” he said.“C’mere.”
He pulled me between his knees.Sitting on the counter, he was the same height as me.His eyes were half-closed.They did that when he was turned on, and he pulled me in for a kiss.His mouth was warm, and he put his hands on my waist, and I held the edge of the counter on either side of his hips, but he made all the moves.I felt hesitant.I didn’t want to do anything but let him kiss me.
“You taste like brownies,” he said.
“You taste like sex.”
“He says that, ladies and gentlemen, and I haven’t even blown him yet.”
I burst out laughing and shoved him playfully.“Stop.”
“Hey.”He cocked his head and looked into my eyes.“I know you’re scared, but it’s just me.”
I rested my forehead against his and shut my eyes.“I know.”
“You know I’d never hurt you.”
“Yeah, but.”
“You still don’t trust me,” he said.“That’s it, isn’t it?”
I didn’t want to hurt him, but I couldn’t lie.“I’m sorry.I know it doesn’t make sense.I know it’s not fair to you.”
He didn’t say anything for what felt like a minute.
“How about if I let you do it to me?”he said casually, like he was offering to get me a glass of water.
I stepped back.“Seriously?”
We were doing everything backward.Hewas supposed to fuckme.ThenIwas supposed to propose tohim.That had been the plan.But there were two of us here, and we were both steering the ship, and maybe the way it was going was the way it was supposed to go.
“You want to?”he said.
“Well, yeah, but I’ve never done it before.”
“I’ll talk you through it.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“That’s it, isn’t it?”he said.“That’s why you don’t completely trust me?Because I haven’t let you do it to me?”
“I think so, yeah.”
“Then let’s do it,” he said.
“What—now?”
“You want to wait till we get married?”
“No.I want to do it now.”Suddenly, I didn’t know where to put my hands or what I was doing.“What do we do?”
