“What if she is with child?” Elizabeth whispered back.
“No.” Jane shook her head firmly. “Uncle would have come himself to speak with Papa about what should be done; he would not simply be returning her to us.”
“I pray that you are right, Jane.”
Mr. Bennet asked for their attention, and then said, “Let us all agree not to say anything to Mr. Bingley or to the Darcys until she has returned and told us her story. Then we shall know how to proceed.”
***
The Bennet girls spent the following day preparing for Lydia’s arrival. The gowns that had come from Brighton were brought down from the attic and arranged carefully in Mary’s old room. The jewelry that Kitty had saved for her sister was stored in Lydia’s jewelry box. The bed sheets were washed and dried. Kitty went so far as to collect some flowers from the garden and put them in a vase.
“She does not deserve all this kindness and consideration,” Mary observed tautly, as the sisters stepped back to admire their handiwork.
“Forgiveness, Mary,” Jane admonished her. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Mary only shook her head. “Very nicely quoted, Jane, but it was all very well for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You are engaged; it is easy for you to be sanguine about Lydia’s actions, as your future is well set.”
Jane sighed. “You are right, Mary. You are entitled to your anger. But shall we not hear Lydia’s tale before condemning her?”
“I cannot imagine that anything could excuse her behaviour, but of course I shall listen.”
Chapter Fifty-One
Lydia did not sleep well the night before she was to be returned home. She imagined how Papa would speak to her – oh, how he would scold her! She imagined Jane’s look of sorrow and disappointment. She imagined all her sisters turning their backs on her and refusing to know her. She imagined – and this was the worst of all – going up to her Mama’s room and finding it empty.
Her imaginings kept her awake until dawn. She managed a few hours sleep before the noise of the household woke her. She donned the black dress Aunt Gardiner had given her – her maid’s uniform was now in her satchel – and put her hair up as best she could.
Downstairs, she managed a piece of toast and some tea, as her aunt watched her anxiously. “Take a few muffins for the road, Lydia; you will be hungry soon enough.”
“I do not feel that I could eat, Aunt; I am too nervous. What if they do not want me back?”
“Then you will come back here to me, Lydia but truly, I cannot imagine this to be the case. You must allow them to express their anger and disappointment, of course; you will have to simply bear that as best you can, for you have caused them a good deal of trouble and worry. But I am certain all will be well in the end.”
Lydia nodded, but was clearly unconvinced.
When it was time to go, she had tears in her eyes as she hugged her aunt. “Thank you, Aunt. I love you.”
Mrs. Gardiner could not recall the last time Lydia had said these words to her, let alone with such sincerity; she hugged the girl hard before releasing her into her husband’s care.
Mr. Gardiner handed Lydia into the carriage and climbed in after her. The ride began in silence, with Lydia staring out the window, swathed in the warm grey cloak her aunt had provided for her. Her hands were clenched tightly on her satchel, and the fabric her aunt had gifted her sat beside her, wrapped in brown paper.
Mr. Gardiner wondered if it would be best for him to speak to her, or to wait for her to begin? Madeleine was definitely better at understanding such things. Finally, he said, “I am here for you if you wish to talk, Lydia, but perhaps you prefer to be silent. I will let you take the lead.”
She turned to him. “Uncle, perhaps you can help me understand why I am so very stupid.”
“Stupid?”
“I must be very stupid indeed, as I know none of my sisters would have done such a thing as elope with an officer!”
“But, oddly enough, if it had been a true elopement, and you had returned to Longbourn with a husband, everyone would have been happy. Is that not so?”
“Well, Mama would have been happy, that much is certain. But, thinking back on it, he could not possibly have supported me. He had no money at all; what little money he earned as an officer was quickly spent on drink and gambling. Surely any of my sisters would have known at once that he was not someone to marry!”
There was no point in lying, Mr. Gardiner thought. “You are right, Lydia; but he was handsome and charming, and you were swept away in the romance of it.”
