“I have, of course; there is no possibility of him offering for me. He feels something for me, of this I am certain, but he is in London even now, searching for a bride.”
“He will never find another Elizabeth Bennet!” Charlotte declared.
Elizabeth chuckled weakly. “No, but he will find a young lady who is beautiful, accomplished, and well-dowered. That will suffice him.”
“And if that suffices, does that not prove that he is not a good match for you? How could you be content with someone who seeks no further than looks, useless accomplishments, and wealth?”
“I do not know, Charlotte. I cannot recall who said it, but it is something like this: the heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of. I must accept my situation, I must learn to live with it, and I must believe that I will recover from this and learn to love someone else.”
Practical Charlotte hesitated before speaking again. “Eliza, at some point you must marry, even if there is not love. You know this, do you not?”
“I suppose I do, as my mother tells me often enough. Jane says that Charles plans to open Bingley House this spring for a few months, and I am to go to them. I hope that between my visit to Mary and subsequent visit to London, I may begin to forget.”
Charlotte sighed. “I thought my own situation pitiable enough, but I fear yours may be worse. But I believe all is not lost. Until he is actually married, there is still hope that he will come to his senses.”
Chapter Forty-Seven
Upon his return to London, Mr. Darcy attended several dances, but he went about it rather mechanically. He accepted introductions, he bowed, he danced, he conversed, but his mind was elsewhere. It was, of course, in Hertfordshire.
He was no longer so certain that he would find another Miss Elizabeth in the glittering ballrooms of theton. And he could not deny that the feeling – well,passionwas the only word for it – that he felt for Miss Elizabeth was never experienced with anyone else. He danced with very lovely young ladies, ladies with shining curls and porcelain skin, and he felt nothing. His skin did not tingle, his pulse did not race, his hand did not reach out…
Mr. Darcy could offer for any of them, and doubtless be accepted, but could he bear to live his life without that immense, overpowering desire he felt for Miss Elizabeth? And not just desire, but delight in her company! He could bed any of these young ladies in thetonand produce children, but would there be any joy in it?
It was in a ballroom that he heard his cousin’s name whispered, and he realised that he had been so caught up in his own dilemma that he had not learned what Daniel had decided to do, nor had he seen his aunt at any of the dances he had attended. That was most unusual; a visit to Matlock House was required.
***
“Darcy! I was beginning to wonder if you had decided to stay in the country for a year!”
“I apologise, Aunt; there were a good many social engagements that required my attendance once I returned to London. I was surprised to not see you at any of them. I hope you are quite well?”
The Countess sighed. “It has been a difficult time.”
“Daniel?”
“When is itnotDaniel?” she huffed.
“What has he decided? Will he wed the girl?”
“It is all still very much up in the air. He refuses to commit one way or another; he might marry her, he might not. I do not know what he seeks to gain by this behaviour!”
“Until he decides, he has both his freedom and his inheritance, does he not?”
“Yes, and that is likely the reason for his delay. But I can tell you that the Weatheringtons are beginning to lose patience.”
“What can they do?”
“Blacken our family’s reputation, of course. This could affect you as well, Darcy; your relationship to us is well-known.”
Mr. Darcy shrugged. “The solution is simple enough.”
“Is it?”
“Certainly. Cut off his allowance at once. He has no funds of his own, has he?”
“No; he lives off of the Earl’s generosity.”
“Then stop giving him money; in addition, have your man of business visit his favourite shopkeepers and tell them that you will not be responsible for his debts.”
