Mrs. Bennet was clearly unconvinced; Elizabeth’s explanation that the man was a self-important bore was greeted with an eye roll. “He is the heir to Longbourn, Lizzy,” she said, severely. “What do we care if he goes on a bit in a letter?”
Frustrated by her mother’s reaction or, rather, lack of reaction, Elizabeth rounded up her sisters and gave them the same news.
“But he is a rector; that is something, is it not?” Mary asked. “I would not object to marrying a rector.”
“And perhaps he is handsome!” Lydia said. “That would be enough for me.”
Kitty agreed at once, saying that she would just as soon not marry a man who was too clever.
Only Jane shared Elizabeth’s concern, agreeing that he did not sound like a good possibility, but this only prompted Kitty and Lydia to say that it was easy enough for Jane to say, for did she not have Mr. Bingley on the hook? Jane shook her head, embarrassed.
Elizabeth gave up; she was certain that once her sisters met the man, they would share her distaste.
***
Mr. Collins arrived precisely at four in the afternoon, as he had promised. Elizabeth wondered how he had been able to be so exact as to his time; had he been waiting out in the street for several minutes? The family filed out the front door to meet him.
Elizabeth had to stifle her laughter as Kitty and Lydia got their first look at him. Their hands flew to their mouths, and they exchanged horrified glances.
He was tall enough, but quite heavy. He removed his black hat, revealing a mostly bald pate with some greasy locks combed over. He could not possibly be considered handsome, or even tolerable.
Upon introducing himself to Mr. Bennet, he bowed low, too low, and began a paean of thanks to his host and hostess.
He then cast a hungry gaze over his female cousins.
Mrs. Bennet hastened to introduce them, beginning with Jane and ending with Lydia. He bowed properly to each of them and expressed his joy at meeting them at long last, but his eyes returned again and again to Jane. Jane was well aware of his interest and shifted uncomfortably, keeping her eyes on the floor but, of course, could say nothing.
Mrs. Bennet led everyone into the parlour and rang at once for refreshments. Mr. Collins sat down, but his head did not stop swiveling, taking in the house, the room, the furniture. Elizabeth suspected that he was marking and admiring all that would one day be his own, and then chastised herself for being unkind.
Mr. Collins began the conversation with more gratitude. “I thank you, Mr. Bennet, for your kindness in receiving me. And, of course, Mrs. Bennet, I would be remiss in not adding my appreciation to you as well. I know what is due a hostess.”
Mrs. Bennet murmured that they were happy to meet Mr. Bennet’s cousin at long last.
Mr. Collins continued, “What a fine parlour you have here! I do not doubt that the entire family gathers here after dinner toread from the Bible and listen to hymns played on that very fine pianoforte.”
“Mary is the most accomplished musician among us, Mr. Collins, though Elizabeth plays a little,” Mrs. Bennet said. She thought it best not to comment on the Bible and the hymns, but Lydia was not so minded.
“Hymns! Hardly,” she scoffed. “And we had far rather read novels than the Bible. We get enough of all that on Sunday.”
Mr. Collins stared at Lydia very hard but then smiled, sitting back in his chair. “You are quite young, Miss Lydia, and much is forgiven you as a result. Surely when you are older and more sensible, more like your eldest sister, if I may say so, you will understand the benefit of the Holy Scriptures and will read your Bible to the exclusion of all else.”
Mrs. Bennet sensed an eruption from Lydia, who opened her mouth to respond to that unfortunate comment; she headed it off by rising and saying, “Mr. Collins, your room is ready; you might wish to rest before dinner.”
He thanked her profusely and followed her up the stairs; they had barely vanished from sight before his female cousins broke into expressions of amusement (Lydia and Kitty), disappointment (Mary), disgust (Elizabeth), and dismay (Jane).
“He has his eye on you, Jane!” Lydia said, laughing.
Jane could only shake her head, panic in her eyes.
Elizabeth quickly took Jane’s hand and said, “Jane, no one can force you to marry him. Do not think on it.”
“But he is the heir,” Jane whispered.
Lydia announced, “I would not marry him if he were the heir to the entire kingdom, let alone just Longbourn!”
Kitty agreed at once, and even Mary said, “Marrying him would be a most unpleasant prospect.” And then she added, “Jane, you need not worry; Mama would far rather you marry Mr. Bingley. I think of all of us, you are the safest from being pressured by her to become Mrs. Collins.”
And with that, all eyes turned to Elizabeth.
