So yeah, feelings can suck it. Between my parents and my ex, I'd say I've got a decent handle on the bad, and I doubt good can outweigh it.
I wouldn't mind an orgasm though. One that doesn't include my fingers or batteries. It's been a long time. Too long. Addie keeps telling me to join Kindling, the app she uses to meet guys. But she's not a mom so she doesn't get it. Random hook-ups sound great in theory, but they also open a dangerous door. The door to my life, the one I do my best to keep private.
The alarm on my phone buzzes, and I go to silence it, but it's not my alarm. It's another text from Addie.
Addie
Mateo has a Jeep in Baltimore.
At the mention of her brother, I'm reminded of our run-in in the hallway. Maybe I should join Kindling, even if I only use it once. Because as hard as I've tried since Sunday, I can't stop wondering what the rest of him looks like.
My libido doesn't seem to care he's Addie's brother, or according to Google, is seventeen years older than me. Well, sixteen next week. It also doesn't care that I straight up don't like him.
My libido is a fucking treasonous bitch.
I don't want him, and more importantly, I can't have him.
Chapter seven
Mateo
I'm not sure what I'm expecting on Tuesday when Jade drops Cooper off, but it's not her in scrubs. She's talking to Dad in the kitchen while I'm on the patio pretending to concentrate on my physical therapy homework. My right ankle is hooked behind my left, but I'm not moving. I'm too focused on the woman beyond the sliding glass door.
Her dark hair is piled on top of her head in a loose bun, tendrils of hair framing her face. Beautiful is the wrong word for her. Striking is much more fitting. There's a softness in her abrasiveness, and it wobbles me off my moral axis. She's an enigma, a challenge, and she's looking directly at me.
Fuck. I offer a small wave and slowly raise my bad knee. Can she even see me out here? Maybe there's a glare.
Yes, a glare would be good.
"I shouldn't be later than nine," she tells Dad, her voice muffled through the glass.
The slider opens, and Cooper sticks his head out.
"Hey, kid," I say.
He waves and wanders toward me, holding his hand out for a fist bump to which I oblige.
"What are you doing out here?" he asks.
"Leave Mateo alone, Coop," Jade yells out the door.
"It's cool," I say. "I'm done, anyway."
"So why are you out here?" Coop asks again.
"It's nice out today. I was stuck in the house with the rain yesterday," I say. "I thought the walls were going to close in on me."
He nods as if he understands and hands me my crutches. I slowly raise myself from the chair. Physical therapy is kicking my ass ten ways to Sunday, and I wasn't lying that the house felt suffocating. But the doe-eyed tornado looking back at me from the open doorway is the only reason I'm not napping. I needed to see her. I can't explain why.
I keep reminding myself she's too young. She's Addie's friend. And really, I don't know her. But nothing in that pep talk diminishes my need to know her. To know about her. I tried searching for her socials, and then searched Addie's for a sliver of information, but nothing came up. If curiosity killed the cat, then shave my ass and call me Mittens.
She opens the door wider and retreats, snagging a backpack off the counter before wandering upstairs, most likely to find my sister.
"Want a snack?" Dad asks when Cooper and I are both inside.
"Sure," I say at the same time the kid says, "Yes, please."
Dad raises an eyebrow at me, and I realize he wasn't talking to me. Right, idiot.
