Jade
I'm more nervous than Coop is this morning for his first day at Prudell. Which is on brand, I suppose.
It doesn't help that it's also my first day seeing Mateo since Thanksgiving. The most uncomfortable Thanksgiving of my life. It even beats out the one I spent in the car waiting for James to finish eating with his family.
It was as if we held a broom stick between us, neither of us able to get close to the other. Two magnets, our eyes the same poles, repelling away from each other. Awkward silences hung between not only us, but everyone else too. Even Cooper asked on the way home if Mateo and I were in a fight.
Everything between us has felt off since we made pies and Addie called him out. I hate that we aren't being honest with her, but what am I supposed to tell her?
Sorry Addie, but I'm using your brother for his dick.
But that's not the truth. Not anymore.
Sorry Addie, but your brother feels like a final destination. Like every road is pointing to him and I'm not sure I want to take any more detours.
What am I doing?
I can't. We can't.
This can't.
I take a deep breath and pull through the gate of Prudell Academy. We are so far out of our element here, but Coop's smile is big. He's the happiest I think I've ever seen him. I don't mind standing out, but he's always wanted to fit in, and here he can do that at least in some capacity.
My rusty old sedan is a far cry from the Porsche I park behind in the drop off circle. Maybe I should've asked Mateo to borrow Topanga or his SUV. No. Nope.
Take us as we are Prudell.
"Ready, kid?" I ask, looking at Coop in the rearview mirror.
"So ready," he says, but he's not looking at me. His eyes are wide as he looks up at the impressive building.
We climb out, and the cold bites at our faces. I pull my leather coat around me a little tighter as we walk to the foot of the steps. Coop squeezes me tight and then skips away, following the other kids up the stairs.
It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to flip them all off. The mothers, not the kids. Every single Katelynn and Michelle standing in a huddle off to the side, staring at me from behind their designer sunglasses.
Instead, I wait.
At the top of the stone steps, Coop turns and waves and walks through the large wooden double doors into an unknown world. I'm still not sure how any of this happened, but I can't seem to wipe the grin off my face. His entire world is going to change, but I promise myself to always keep him grounded. To make sure he's still the same kid when he walks out those doors for the last time.
And that starts with me staying true to myself.
I turn to the gaggle of women and lift my imaginary skirt as I curtsy. Then I climb into my car and shift it into drive, hoping with all my might it will backfire. I want to see them jump.
Sadly, it doesn't.
Oh well, I guess there's always next time.
I should find out about the PTO.
Not for me though, but for Coop. If the mothers hold judgment on me for my car? My leather jacket? The pink ends in my hair? Then I need to be involved enough to make sure it doesn't trickle down to Coop.
Mateo's monster is the only car in the driveway when I pull in. But that means jack because the four-car garage could be hiding the rest. I know Mateo's Wrangler is in one of them, I parked it there when we got back from Baltimore. At least that's one other thing I got from James, besides Coop. I learned how to drive a stick. It took me a bit to get the feel of the Wrangler, it's been years, but before long she and I got along just fine.
I let myself into the house, and am greeted by Mateo pulling me to him, pressing his lips to mine. My treacherous body sinks into his, speeding past the what ifs holding my brain captive. Being five foot nine, I'm not used to feeling small in a man's arms, and it's nice.
I missed him, and I hate how right it all feels. How my body reacts to him, how he regulates my emotions. How he makes me laugh. I especially hate how he can't get enough of me. And not only my body, but me. The real me. I don't understand why. It's as if he's so hypnotized by what he sees that he's blind to the mess standing in front of him.
It's been four days? Five, depending on how you count?
