But I knew one thing with absolute certainty.
I wanted her.
More than anything else, I wanted a second chance at happiness.
At love.
At being someone’s partner again.
And I wanted that chance with her.
Gradually, the weight of the day faded from my thoughts. My mind emptied itself of all the worries and questions that had been circling inside it earlier.My body relaxed as a pleasant wave of calm washed over me.Minutes later, I drifted into a peaceful sleep, smiling.
33
JIYA
The electric clock on the bedside table flashed 3:30 a.m. Moonlight streamed through the thin white curtains, spilling across the bed and illuminating Cole’s face. The pale silver glow softened his features, tracing the line of his jaw and the relaxed curve of his lips as he slept.
My chest clenched as I watched him.
What the hell did I do?The question thundered through my mind, loud enough that it felt like it might wake him.
Cole lay there peacefully, his toned body half-covered by the white sheet that rested loosely around his waist. One arm was stretched across the pillow where my head had been moments earlier, as though even in sleep, he had reached instinctively toward me.
My heart twisted.
The tenderness of the night we had just shared still clung to my skin, and the memory of his arms around me awakened feelings I wasn’t ready to acknowledge.
I slipped quietly out of bed, careful not to disturb him. The floor felt cool beneath my bare feet as I tiptoed across the room,gathering my clothes from where they had been scattered across the floor. My hands trembled slightly as I dressed.
My thoughts refused to slow down, like a train that had lost its brakes.
How could I do something so reckless and careless as this?Cole was my friend.More than that, he had been my support when I needed it most. He had trusted me, believed in me when I was struggling, and helped me build the cafés with the money he had lent me. My head throbbed.
Guilt wrapped around me like vines around a tree.
Without looking back at the bed again, I slipped out of his apartment and drove back to my house in the early hours before dawn.
The streets were empty and silent. The sky was beginning to soften from deep midnight blue to pale grey as the first hints of morning approached.
But my mind refused to quiet.
Every few seconds, my thoughts drifted back to Cole.
The way he had looked at me.
The way his voice had softened when he spoke my name.
The way my heart had raced when his arms wrapped around me.
I gripped the steering wheel tighter.
After reaching home, I stepped inside quietly while everyone was still asleep, moved upstairs to my bedroom and slipped into the ensuite for a quick shower.
Hot water cascaded over my shoulders, but it did little to calm the whirlwind of thoughts inside my head.
My brain replayed the night over and over again, and a knot formed in my stomach.
