Soon… I would be alone again.
The thought crept in quietly, uninvited but impossible to ignore.
My husband.
My best friend.
Gone.
I looked around the room, my eyes moving slowly, almost unwillingly.
The closet where our clothes hung side by side.The bathroom with his toiletries neatly placed, his aftershave still carrying the scent I had come to love so deeply.The bed we shared.
Soon… his clothes would remain untouched.His toothbrush would sit unused.His side of the bed would grow cold.
Empty.
And it would just be me.
Alone… again.
After dinner, I gave him his medication and watched as he struggled to swallow it.
My heart ached with every second of it.
He looked at me then, lifting his hand with effort and placing it gently against my cheek.
His hand…once so warm…now carried a coldness that terrified me.
“I’m fine, love,” he said softly. “Don’t worry.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, leaning into his touch, holding onto it for as long as I could.Dear God…please let him not suffer.Please let him not be in pain anymore.
50
COLE
Ifelt weaker with each passing day.It was no longer something I could ignore or push through. I tried, though. I tried to gather enough strength to do the simplest things—to sit up without help, to walk a few steps, to eat without feeling like my body would reject it—but my body had its own plans now. It refused to cooperate, no matter how much I willed it to.
The last couple of days had made me think about my life… my choices… my existence.
Three years ago, I hadn’t wanted to live. I had done everything I could to shorten my time here, as if I had been daring life to take me. I had pushed people away, rejected anyone who tried to get close, including Liam. Even my neighbours had kept their distance. I had found my escape in alcohol, in numbness, in not feeling anything at all.
And then she walked into my life.
Jiya.
She had changed everything.
Through her, I rediscovered photography, something I had once loved but abandoned. Through her, I found my way back to Liam. Through her, I fought my way out of the darkness I hadburied myself in. And through her, I found love again—not just with her, but with the children who had become my own.
It felt almost cruel.
That alcohol had been there for me in the darkest time of my life… and now, in the happiest time of my life, its consequences had come back to claim me.
I couldn’t blame anyone but myself.
I had been angry at the world when I lost my wife and daughter.
